Category Archives: freedom

Happy Love Day

True Love & Toxic Love: 14 Core Differences

In honor of the day and love that uplifts, heals, and frees the heart.

I was going to write something romantic, but there’s plenty of romantic sentiment elsewhere today.

Awareness is supreme and to be able to really let go and play in a relationship we need awareness. We need understanding and trust.

We often learn the hard way how important those things are though, even if we already know what they are.

Those with hearts often serve as prey to toxic people and behaviors. Always taking it on like we have to for some reason. Rationalizing the mistreatment in some way out of misplaced empathy and wishful thinking.

The ideal love we think we have is shattered by slights and abuses that we don’t even recognize until it’s too late. Maybe we try to hold on to the person who is hurtful and situation that devalues us.

You can’t love a parasite in your body away nor can you love a toxic person, a narcissist, to change. It just feeds and enables them.

So fuck them.

I don’t believe in moral ambiguity when it’s about how human beings should treat each other. This is the simplest and least ambiguous thing there is.

Some people would say that these aren’t positive wishy washy words for the holiday, and I’d say that’s exactly what a toxic person would say. If we see no evil and speak no evil we can’t see their behavior and point them out.

So protect thyself with awareness.

Love can still (always) be experienced. From a different perspective, maybe a weary if not wiser perspective, it can be had though.

The bad experiences take us into the dark, they block us off from real love and try to isolate us. Love is always there though, it doesn’t go anywhere. We can always find it again. It’s found deep within if you can survive your own scars, pain, and sadness.

People who haven’t really been hurt tend to recycle the same old rhetoric that you’ll find love again and it will make everything right. That puts the focus outside the self though, it continues the problem that lead to the hurt first place. It makes it someone else’s responsibility.

And what of the time in between meeting someone else and being alone? Who’s to say that you do meet someone else? Not trying to be a downer as there is a great possibility we will meet someone else yet there’s no guarantees. So you have to get to know yourself, make a friend with yourself. Know your heart and body.

There are no guarantees but we can increase our chances of encountering love again by getting to know ourselves. Healing ourselves. Knowing what we love and what we’re about, tends to attract the same. That’s when we’re most magical, that’s when we meet love when we least expect it but it’s not even the universe’s power that delivers the new experiences. It’s our own. It’s how much we know and love ourselves, and draw others to us who are compatible with our self love.

I think, and this is my experience, what makes everything alright is knowledge. It’s processing what happened and coming out more aware and stronger from it.

Fuck the toxic and abusive people. I don’t mean that spitefully. I mean, they don’t deserve thought or energy. If they’ve hurt us they’ve already taken enough from us.

What is normally a virtue and strength in a healthy relationship, a toxic person will exploit as a weakness and use against us. Especially empathy and the desire for things to be better than they really are.

Empathy and openness make a healthy relationship incredibly strong, but in a toxic relationship they are exploited and leave you feeling exploited and bad about yourself.

A healthy relationship should build us up though. It should honor and exalt our hearts and humanity, not exploit them. The first relationship we have is with ourselves.

There is often little we can do to control how others treat us if they don’t care to care how they treat us. We have all the control in how we treat ourselves and that relationship though.

I could write volumes about the toxic and hurtful experiences I’ve been through, and how I’ve been used at times of vulnerability and naivety. The answer is the same though no matter who we are and what we’ve been through. The only thing that makes it right is the healing we do within. The knowledge and awareness we give to ourselves.

It puts us in a position to love and be loved as a whole not a half. Two wholes make a stronger relationship, like interlocking rings. How do they interlock if they are whole? That’s the magic of real love. Its bonds are powerful and yet it is completely freeing and uplifting.

Truth is Offensive

Truth is offensive.

It always has been. I guess ever since there has been an “ego”.

This truth has merely been politicized (and weaponized against the common mind) in modern day. That truth is offensive. So the ego becomes its own autoimmune disease against its own consciousness and chances at growth out of the darkness.

Embrace truth. Embrace self honesty. Face your own mirror. Be brave to see through the bias that you hold about the world around you.

Tear the circus down because it’s not providing you with useful content or even entertainment. It’s a parasite that is feeding off of you. You are its battery and it has no love or respect for you. We’re all resources for it to exploit. So clowns of every shady shade can dance on stage while we suffer for scraps.

This isn’t about calling others out and poking holes in others’ arguments for a myopic and brief hit of egotism over the other guy. This is about having the courage to see the blind spots and holes in your own view. To undress your own hypocrisy. As difficult as it is.

It’s better to learn to sustain on boring offensive truth than the unsustainable fast food. The fast food that makes us feel good as it makes us feel like shit, but we push that discomfort deep down. Our aversion to the fast food is our guardian yet we push it down to put on a face and go along with the crowd.

No one has to follow the crowd off the cliff. It may have a strong momentum but going within is a stronger grounding.

Embrace truth because it’s the only way to survive. The body needs proper nutrients and the consciousness needs real light and truth.

A Call of Manhood

May this be a courageous year.

Men once had courage. They had courage before greed and possessiveness, before obsessing on acquiring the most stuff and owning vaginas before they even know their own bodies. Before they became agents of a dark machine who sell their will for an attempt to control others, ready to fuck each other over for a piece of ass or a share of the green pie.

Before all that they had courage. Before all that, nobility wasn’t a celebrity in a tuxedo. It was an inner cultivated quality and men pushed themselves to the edge to cultivate it. For a chance to know integrity and nobility.

A man would be wise to not be swayed by the machine, to not let other men set the tone for what true stature is, to not let vamps seduce him to think that stature has to do with external things.

A man sets his own tone. A man seeks to stand strong in nature, in the universe, in of himself, this is a test.

If you’re a man I hope that you find it again. I hope you get as fired up for your independent thought and sovereignty as you do for alcohol, pussy, and big screen tvs. I hope to see you on the front lines of consciousness, braving the frontier of our soul evolutions and protecting all which truly matters in our hearts, as men are supposed to do.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

May your ego be full of a little less hubris and your attitude a little less cynicism

If we’re corrosive to ourselves and others it doesn’t matter how much love and happiness we receive. It gets drained.

So I wish you sobriety. May you learn to look at life without bias so your ego doesn’t constantly drain you.

If all you want is happiness and simplicity I hope that truth never finds you. I hope you manage to hide from the light in uncomfortable darkness. Though maybe you have some form of superficial light to cling to like money, outer beauty, material possessions, social status, etc. So if all you want is to be simple and happy, may your desire for substance and true light never surpass the shallow measures in your life.

Do not expect me to join you, do not expect me to respond when you get mad when I walk away. I return jagged insults back to sender. If you have shadow to process then may you realize what caused it, and eat your own, instead of making it someone else’s burden. None of us can afford those who wield hurt but turn into drama majors when the mirror is turned on them. There are people with mental illness who behave that way but the majority of the population has no such excuse.

If you’re hurtful toward others may you find the humility to see yourself and see past your ego to consider other people. May you realize it’s not all about you,

May this be the year you realize that if you play with negating words/actions toward others you’re playing with darkness and waive your right to play a victim. There is no right side when the sides are owned by darkness.

May this be the year we all see through the facade of our own false “innocence” aka naivety, the hubris that corrodes our true essence.

If you want to be more than a creature in a cage, may you wake up to how brutally and beautifully complex and incredible life is.

At the end of the day we don’t matter as superficial identities that mostly aren’t even defined by us but by society and what we think we need to be. I don’t wish you trite happiness if it means going to sleep in the machine. I wish that you find courage to face the light of consciousness and your mirror.

Happy New Year. Many blessings. May you find humility and your best possible path that makes you shine and contributes to the universe at large. Be a universal citizen and be your own authority on your integrity. Neither gods, nor karma, nor anyone else is going to keep you in check.

A Bird On The Road

bird

I saw this guy in the middle of the road driving home through the downpour. Everyone else was driving over him. I didn’t want to stop either, it was pouring and I was tired. I did though. He was huddled and hurt so I carefully put my hand under him. Brought him into the woods and was gonna place him under some leaf cover, he gripped my fingers like he didn’t want to be put on the ground. He shook and pinched me every time the thunder clapped overhead.

At any other time this bird would fly away. At that moment I could feel he did not want to be alone. So I drove home with him in my palm, one hand on the wheel. I put him under a covered deck where it was dry and not in the open. Dried him off and gave him my shirt to rest on.

After I took him home I wanted to keep helping. He was hopping and stretching his wings, eyes were open and alert. I knew the best thing I could do was trust nature and his strength. So after the storm cleared I took him back to the spot I found him. It was a cool drive because he was alert and looking out the window. I found some brush and cover, and he hopped to it. I said a little nature prayer, wished him well , thanked him, and that was that.

It was a heart intensive experience and my honor to help this beautiful bird. It is sacred to work with nature. He could of been dying and maybe all I did was show him something other than cold rain in those moments. Maybe he survived and I saved him. Maybe I gave him reassurance and held space for him, and the rest was in the hands of nature and whatever spirits were watching out for him. I have no illusions that this bird would let me pick him up if I saw him again. All life is sentient on some level though. Everything has a need to connect. No one wants to feel scared and isolated in the storm.

When we encounter a wounded animal or part of nature it is our responsibility to be the best caretakers and stewards we can in the span of time we are asked to. We make life a little better when we approach the wounds with mindfulness and empathy.

It Can Be a Jungle Without or a Garden Within

People show you who they are when you’re in a low place but it isn’t revealed until you’re in a high place.

Some people are nice out of genuine compassion, some are nice because you’re no threat when inferior.

Now I find it a funny world we live in where authoritarianism is so popular and external authority figures get so much appeal. This to the extent that people fight and even kill each other over whose external authority figure is supreme.

Yet so little regard for the inner authority and sovereignty of the individual self.

So much money and resources both internal and external given to the external authority figures.

Yet so little recognition and respect given to the heart and mind of each other.  So little care toward helping each other care for the garden of self.

You can’t get something for nothing in this world but you can get nothing for something if you give your energy to those external figures.

You can create great somethings if you use your energy cultivating your garden and helping those around you with theirs.

No One Gets Off Easy

One way people like to drag each other down is comparing their problems to others and pretending that others have it easy. My response is always – do you think this world doesn’t have some difficult checks and balances? As if some peoples’ struggles don’t exist or aren’t valid?

Sometimes it’s laughable because you have faced a lot and know it. Who is anyone else to question or invalidate that? They’re not anyone or anything to do so.

It’s up to us to learn to love ourselves and our journeys too. Even find the positives in our personal challenges. Use them, don’t let them own you. Love the blood, sweat, and tears you’ve worked through.

Maybe those who are empty or who sell their souls can live completely easy and cushy. The moment you have a soul and a will of your own there will be challenges. There will be obstacles There will be things that try to hold you back. Life gets more complicated.

Go ahead and cry about it. I have, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s the people who deny their emotions and deny their selves who are the biggest assholes because they never get over themselves. Crying or sober, kicking or screaming, it doesn’t matter. Just that you’re challenging your challenges.

The best way to simplify things is to push through and climb your mountains.

Remember that only people who have no minds or souls to challenge have it easy.

Strengthening The Light Strengthens Us

I think I’m nowhere to be found on the political spectrum. The world is a tough place, yeah. So we have to put our own efforts in. At the same time it can be so cruel that it is a good thing to help (when we can) others find their feet, their step, or maybe heal their feet.

I think the madness and cruelty of the world can really have a corrupting effect on us. It can really turn people into overly egotistic, judgmental, negative something or others…

So I try to find the good in all sides. I have left leaning friends, I have right leaning friends. I have religious, spiritual, and atheistic friends. I try to listen to the knowledge and compassion in all of them.

It’s a cruel world and I think in some ways it’s been made that way to corrupt us. To make us into Orcs, like fallen Elves (LOTR reference). It becomes easy for the darkness and madness to take center stage in our eye’s and fill our realities.

That’s why we should focus on the light in ourselves, each other, everywhere. In different opinions, ideas, sides. It’s not about duality. It’s about finding the quality and follies in both sides.

The only counterbalance to the darkness out there is focusing on the light in all things. I don’t mean in an “Everyone gets a sticker” kind of way. I mean in a way that takes strength and effort to cultivate that light and encourage it in others. I wish we did that more.

Just because we focus on the light doesn’t mean we become blind to the darkness in the world. It means that we become stronger and develop self command, so the darkness doesn’t possess us. It means seeing the corruption and pain with knowledge and empathy.

Focusing on the quality in ourselves and others makes that light a stronger reality. If some people don’t seem to have any light, then focus on those who do. Those who don’t will want to catch up eventually and leave the darkness of chaos and separation from the light to be part of the true “in” crowd.

The more we focus on and exercise the light the easier it becomes because it begins to take center stage.

It’s like a muscle, all muscles become stronger when exercised.

The Two Men in Man

There are two men in every man. There is his ego, his superficial self which you come to know in waking time.

There is his soul.  This is under the surface and unspoken. Yet it does slip through in speech occasionally, in symbolic actions and timings, and the actions a man takes despite what his ego says.

If you want to know a man pay less attention to his ego and what he says. The goodness or negativity of a man is told from his soul despite proclamations he makes on the surface. It is from within that men act from. Many are unconscious of what is driving them but this does not change what is driving them.

We live in a world where many men make proclamations on the surface, all their energy is invested in force and extroverted action. This has made man into a hypocrite and something of a shell.

So a man must awaken the sleeper within. He must humble his brash surface and go within, discover his soul. There he must do clearing and atonement, depending on its nature. He must get in touch with his true self and quest to consciously act in accordance with the eternal breath that gives him life and the unconditional heart which gives him his pulse and sentience. He must strive to act with the positive aspects of his soul. He must endeavor to act in “right action”, or conscious use of will in all that he does.

In this way man does not need salvation, he walks a path that is his salvation.

A man’s path becomes him whether he is conscious of it or not.