Category Archives: love and integrity

Happy Love Day

True Love & Toxic Love: 14 Core Differences

In honor of the day and love that uplifts, heals, and frees the heart.

I was going to write something romantic, but there’s plenty of romantic sentiment elsewhere today.

Awareness is supreme and to be able to really let go and play in a relationship we need awareness. We need understanding and trust.

We often learn the hard way how important those things are though, even if we already know what they are.

Those with hearts often serve as prey to toxic people and behaviors. Always taking it on like we have to for some reason. Rationalizing the mistreatment in some way out of misplaced empathy and wishful thinking.

The ideal love we think we have is shattered by slights and abuses that we don’t even recognize until it’s too late. Maybe we try to hold on to the person who is hurtful and situation that devalues us.

You can’t love a parasite in your body away nor can you love a toxic person, a narcissist, to change. It just feeds and enables them.

So fuck them.

I don’t believe in moral ambiguity when it’s about how human beings should treat each other. This is the simplest and least ambiguous thing there is.

Some people would say that these aren’t positive wishy washy words for the holiday, and I’d say that’s exactly what a toxic person would say. If we see no evil and speak no evil we can’t see their behavior and point them out.

So protect thyself with awareness.

Love can still (always) be experienced. From a different perspective, maybe a weary if not wiser perspective, it can be had though.

The bad experiences take us into the dark, they block us off from real love and try to isolate us. Love is always there though, it doesn’t go anywhere. We can always find it again. It’s found deep within if you can survive your own scars, pain, and sadness.

People who haven’t really been hurt tend to recycle the same old rhetoric that you’ll find love again and it will make everything right. That puts the focus outside the self though, it continues the problem that lead to the hurt first place. It makes it someone else’s responsibility.

And what of the time in between meeting someone else and being alone? Who’s to say that you do meet someone else? Not trying to be a downer as there is a great possibility we will meet someone else yet there’s no guarantees. So you have to get to know yourself, make a friend with yourself. Know your heart and body.

There are no guarantees but we can increase our chances of encountering love again by getting to know ourselves. Healing ourselves. Knowing what we love and what we’re about, tends to attract the same. That’s when we’re most magical, that’s when we meet love when we least expect it but it’s not even the universe’s power that delivers the new experiences. It’s our own. It’s how much we know and love ourselves, and draw others to us who are compatible with our self love.

I think, and this is my experience, what makes everything alright is knowledge. It’s processing what happened and coming out more aware and stronger from it.

Fuck the toxic and abusive people. I don’t mean that spitefully. I mean, they don’t deserve thought or energy. If they’ve hurt us they’ve already taken enough from us.

What is normally a virtue and strength in a healthy relationship, a toxic person will exploit as a weakness and use against us. Especially empathy and the desire for things to be better than they really are.

Empathy and openness make a healthy relationship incredibly strong, but in a toxic relationship they are exploited and leave you feeling exploited and bad about yourself.

A healthy relationship should build us up though. It should honor and exalt our hearts and humanity, not exploit them. The first relationship we have is with ourselves.

There is often little we can do to control how others treat us if they don’t care to care how they treat us. We have all the control in how we treat ourselves and that relationship though.

I could write volumes about the toxic and hurtful experiences I’ve been through, and how I’ve been used at times of vulnerability and naivety. The answer is the same though no matter who we are and what we’ve been through. The only thing that makes it right is the healing we do within. The knowledge and awareness we give to ourselves.

It puts us in a position to love and be loved as a whole not a half. Two wholes make a stronger relationship, like interlocking rings. How do they interlock if they are whole? That’s the magic of real love. Its bonds are powerful and yet it is completely freeing and uplifting.

Political Correctness, Spiritual Uncorrectness

It’s everywhere, but I’m not a right side winger, they have ego children issues too. I don’t prescribe to the dualistic ideology traps meant to arrest the masses in endless self destruction. You shouldn’t either. Just because the world writes you a prescription for something doesn’t mean you have to take it.

Political correctness condescends and patronizes. Let’s celebrate diversity by pretending it doesn’t exist, and lets celebrate differences by attacking those who think differently than us? Political correctness is the leftist extreme to the rightist extreme of stereotypical racism and sexism. Bigotry is bigotry. It’s the same thing in a new socially acceptable package. Can you smell the hypocrisy?

It doesn’t speak to the adult in people. It speaks to the egotistic child. It’s like feeding a child candy and video games their entire childhood and never setting any structure. The child may hate the rules but the adult in them understands. The adult in them appreciates being seen as capable of the responsibility.

Bringing out and sensitizing the egotistic child in people is not going to make a world of understanding and acceptance of the diversity of life. It festers conflict because the egotistic child within us operates in duality and thrives in conflict, not higher thought.

So then the person who is right and superior becomes the one who can cut down the other side of the argument better. The one who is more smarmy. The one who is more brutal. The one who can “bring it” and shame the other side best, regardless of one’s own authenticity and argument.

Then you get a hypocritical hydra puddle of people attacking people because they feel they’re persecuted and in the right. Everyone is a victim, which they believe gives them the right to strike out against everyone else.

I think if you’re smart and have self respect you’ll tune out any “leader”, any media figure, any influence who aims to sensitize the ego child in you and polarize you AGAINST someone or something.

Such is the game of senseless conflict, wasted energy, and darkness. In the end only the darkness wins.

Our only power over the darkness is consciousness and compassion.

but if people want to tear themselves up and be willing sacrifices to the darkness… I’d say send me a postcard, but not much escapes a black hole.

Merry Christmas, or so

Some Christmas metaphysical know-how.

This is an energetically powerful time of year and much energy is stirred up during it (when that energy would rather be resting).

What might be worse than Christmas starting months early is it ending abruptly after Christmas day.

Everything is built up for months in a Christmas way then it stops. Everything goes back to drab winter, and people go back to being miserable.

It’s like running a marathon and stopping on the finish line without walking it out. It’s like making love all night and walking out with a blank face immediately after the climax.

It’s jilted and unnatural. It’s also not natural to stir up such energy in people during the darkest time of year. There is less sunlight, less energy in people, it’s not a good time to expend ourselves. The energy drain and hangover can be a bitch. There’s a reason many people get sick this time of year and it’s not because it’s cold outside. It’s because the holiday hubbub drains them and messes with their energy systems like a yo yo.

If you engage in Christmas festivities it’s better to ride them out and taper them off. It’s better for the body and energy system to let things trail off naturally, according to their own rhythms.

So find a quiet spot, light a candle, have a mug of eggnog or tea… and let yourself relax into the winter spirit. The spirit of winter lasts all winter long. It’s a low key energy, unlike the spring, and best appreciated in quiet moments.

It’s easy for all of this to be obscured by “It’s Christmas! Run around! Stop!”

The soul is analog, not digital. Think about it. Then feel it out, in yourself.

Merry week or two after Christmas.

A Call of Manhood

May this be a courageous year.

Men once had courage. They had courage before greed and possessiveness, before obsessing on acquiring the most stuff and owning vaginas before they even know their own bodies. Before they became agents of a dark machine who sell their will for an attempt to control others, ready to fuck each other over for a piece of ass or a share of the green pie.

Before all that they had courage. Before all that, nobility wasn’t a celebrity in a tuxedo. It was an inner cultivated quality and men pushed themselves to the edge to cultivate it. For a chance to know integrity and nobility.

A man would be wise to not be swayed by the machine, to not let other men set the tone for what true stature is, to not let vamps seduce him to think that stature has to do with external things.

A man sets his own tone. A man seeks to stand strong in nature, in the universe, in of himself, this is a test.

If you’re a man I hope that you find it again. I hope you get as fired up for your independent thought and sovereignty as you do for alcohol, pussy, and big screen tvs. I hope to see you on the front lines of consciousness, braving the frontier of our soul evolutions and protecting all which truly matters in our hearts, as men are supposed to do.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

May your ego be full of a little less hubris and your attitude a little less cynicism

If we’re corrosive to ourselves and others it doesn’t matter how much love and happiness we receive. It gets drained.

So I wish you sobriety. May you learn to look at life without bias so your ego doesn’t constantly drain you.

If all you want is happiness and simplicity I hope that truth never finds you. I hope you manage to hide from the light in uncomfortable darkness. Though maybe you have some form of superficial light to cling to like money, outer beauty, material possessions, social status, etc. So if all you want is to be simple and happy, may your desire for substance and true light never surpass the shallow measures in your life.

Do not expect me to join you, do not expect me to respond when you get mad when I walk away. I return jagged insults back to sender. If you have shadow to process then may you realize what caused it, and eat your own, instead of making it someone else’s burden. None of us can afford those who wield hurt but turn into drama majors when the mirror is turned on them. There are people with mental illness who behave that way but the majority of the population has no such excuse.

If you’re hurtful toward others may you find the humility to see yourself and see past your ego to consider other people. May you realize it’s not all about you,

May this be the year you realize that if you play with negating words/actions toward others you’re playing with darkness and waive your right to play a victim. There is no right side when the sides are owned by darkness.

May this be the year we all see through the facade of our own false “innocence” aka naivety, the hubris that corrodes our true essence.

If you want to be more than a creature in a cage, may you wake up to how brutally and beautifully complex and incredible life is.

At the end of the day we don’t matter as superficial identities that mostly aren’t even defined by us but by society and what we think we need to be. I don’t wish you trite happiness if it means going to sleep in the machine. I wish that you find courage to face the light of consciousness and your mirror.

Happy New Year. Many blessings. May you find humility and your best possible path that makes you shine and contributes to the universe at large. Be a universal citizen and be your own authority on your integrity. Neither gods, nor karma, nor anyone else is going to keep you in check.

It Can Be a Jungle Without or a Garden Within

People show you who they are when you’re in a low place but it isn’t revealed until you’re in a high place.

Some people are nice out of genuine compassion, some are nice because you’re no threat when inferior.

Now I find it a funny world we live in where authoritarianism is so popular and external authority figures get so much appeal. This to the extent that people fight and even kill each other over whose external authority figure is supreme.

Yet so little regard for the inner authority and sovereignty of the individual self.

So much money and resources both internal and external given to the external authority figures.

Yet so little recognition and respect given to the heart and mind of each other.  So little care toward helping each other care for the garden of self.

You can’t get something for nothing in this world but you can get nothing for something if you give your energy to those external figures.

You can create great somethings if you use your energy cultivating your garden and helping those around you with theirs.

The Two Men in Man

There are two men in every man. There is his ego, his superficial self which you come to know in waking time.

There is his soul.  This is under the surface and unspoken. Yet it does slip through in speech occasionally, in symbolic actions and timings, and the actions a man takes despite what his ego says.

If you want to know a man pay less attention to his ego and what he says. The goodness or negativity of a man is told from his soul despite proclamations he makes on the surface. It is from within that men act from. Many are unconscious of what is driving them but this does not change what is driving them.

We live in a world where many men make proclamations on the surface, all their energy is invested in force and extroverted action. This has made man into a hypocrite and something of a shell.

So a man must awaken the sleeper within. He must humble his brash surface and go within, discover his soul. There he must do clearing and atonement, depending on its nature. He must get in touch with his true self and quest to consciously act in accordance with the eternal breath that gives him life and the unconditional heart which gives him his pulse and sentience. He must strive to act with the positive aspects of his soul. He must endeavor to act in “right action”, or conscious use of will in all that he does.

In this way man does not need salvation, he walks a path that is his salvation.

A man’s path becomes him whether he is conscious of it or not.

Lesser Evil or Greater, They’ll All Steal Your Instinct

Sometimes I wonder why we teach kids right and wrong if we’re expected to throw it away as adults.

I mean, what changes in us that makes us stray from what we know is right and to look up to what we know is wrong?

I see all this political fighting, in this dualistic arena that is so artificial. It’s like “Pick my side because my bully will only push you down, break your teeth, and make you eat sand! The other side will do all that and kick you in the head too!”

It’s like we’re programmed/conditioned/grown into this state of disconnect in our world where we lose touch with our own sense of self preservation.

I know a lot of people say “You have to vote for the lesser evil for your survival”.

But are we really surviving? We sure aren’t thriving as a whole. Are we surviving though, or slowly dying?

Everyone rejecting the mainstream, they’re just waking up to the fact that we’re dying and they’re saying “I don’t want to die!”

Anytime anyone questions the world, the “way things are”, and especially their own conditioning they’re saying “I want to live”

That’s the spirit of life. That’s the spirit of freedom.

We should revere and respect that spirit in ourselves and each other. Not try to squash it in each other.

I can’t think of anything more self destructive than trying to squash the life in each other.

We’re only on phones and computers right now because someone, at some point, discovered electricity and invented all these pieces of technology we’re using.

Someone thought outside the box and gave us running water.

You probably have ancestors who made decisions at one point that went against the group but lead to their own survival.

We’re losing that instinct. We have plenty of the instinct to be insentiently greedy, possessive, and materialistic. That greed and possession instinct doesn’t necessarily lead to the best chance of survival though.

The instinct to think for ourselves does. It’s the most important instinct because it’s the most sighted instinct.

From that independent instinct we are more aware, we behave more wisely. We don’t go around abusing and using others, or kicking them down, because from this instinct we’re aware of how precious our freedom is.

It’s the spirit of freedom, it’s something that children revel in. It’s something we would be wise to appreciate in each other.

Don’t Vote Third Party! The Lesser Evils Await!

To everyone trying to dissuade others from voting “third party” or whatever – YUCK.

Seriously, YUCK. I hate pseudo plea pulls at the intellect and sympathy like that. I hate the way these arguments use subtle authoritarian angles and seek to push the fear buttons in others.

“I understand the need for third parties and your passion for them, but you must vote for such and such because of the greater evil”

YUCK.

Our world is already on a road of destruction and in desperate need of change. WE are in desperate need of a sense of urgency. It’s only a matter of time before there’s a Fukushima in the U.S., or fracking hits a fault line, or there’s world war 3.

We already live in a country that doesn’t give a shit about lead in drinking water. It’s not outlandish to conclude that greed and apathy rule not just our water supply but much of our modern world.

There’s so much destruction and our “leaders” don’t care! These are not good times in which to turn the mind off!

If we’re lucky we’ll use the bumps along the way to wake up. To withdraw our energy and consent from our own downfall.

I’m voting for anyone but the two “evils” because I care about my self, perhaps karma. Seriously, if the world goes to shit I want to know that I didn’t support one crook over another. I have self respect and it is a respect that deeply cares about others too, about survival on a deeper and long term level not just what’s happening on the news today.

There is no good reason to support any evil, lesser or not, if one cares about their integrity.

If it takes decades for the masses to wake up and withdraw their support from false and destructive roads, and explore other options, so be it!  We are in the mess we’re in because people have lost touch and “gone along to get along” too much. We think we’re thinking long term when putting support toward the “lesser” of evils but we’re merely taking a slower road to hell.

Long term vision is something many have lost.  We’ve lost the common sense to include the survival of our hearts and souls in our practical thinking.

The only way we can save ourselves from this mess is by WAKING UP.

Commend those with the strength and conviction to do so TODAY. Don’t patronize and condescend them.

It’s not smart to condescend those who think for their selves. You will be such a person yourself some day if you aren’t already, and the “karma” we accumulate for kicking others for thinking for themselves can be ruthless. It’s the most difficult test of the soul anyone faces in this world, it’s the loneliest and harshest test. Few want to face it so they stay asleep.

There’s nothing wrong with that (we wake up when ready), but it’s not good to attack those who do challenge themselves and question the world. It’s better to listen and learn from them as we will be them ourselves some day.

It’s always better to be awake today than pay for it tomorrow. Yet there are many extenuating circumstances in which we think we must “go along to get along”. Just because we have to do that sometimes doesn’t mean we should be ok with it. Not being ok with it is what makes us human.

It’s the conflict, the nagging itch within that makes us alive. As soon as we give that up and go to sleep we are no longer living.

Condescension toward those who have courage to think for themselves is, always has been, and always will be shameful.

Maybe it’s better to stop trying to convert them and rather stop, listen, and learn from them.