Sometimes I’m reminded at how incredibly human, and immature, we all are. How we all have the same basic needs, that we’re social creatures seeking acknowledgement and company.
It’s one thing to seek empathy from our fellow human beings, to feel that we’re heard and acknowledged. Sometimes this need can be strong, and we have strong things to say. It’s a wonderful thing when we can share and feel heard.
It’s another thing to be like “If you don’t agree with me, side with me, and jump on MY bandwagon/how I see things then you’re not on my side and you’re the enemy!”. It’s like people who are addicted to the news, when they see something negative they expect you to jump into a negative discussion about it… but if you’re quiet rather than waste your energy talking about that negative story they lash out at you.
The imbalanced mind sees everything as duality, “black vs. white”, if you don’t throw all of your energy and agreement into siding with an imbalanced person they will turn you into an enemy too.
The human ego believes it is the center of the universe. The problem is it’s not centered, it’s mad and erratic. The ego also tends to have a problem with being too racing/active and desperately needing to find inner stillness. It’s an indication that a mind is imbalanced when it can’t appreciate objectivity and stillness… and strangely enough it’s the same imbalance that can’t appreciate free thought and authentic expression! It’s the same imbalance that tries to squash originality and freedom in others.
Some things I read today reminded me of the many struggles I faced growing up being an “outsider” because of my own calm and objective mind. People would often be drawn to my calm, strength, and I’d do amazing things for them. I’d be incredibly kind to them, but then they’d lash out at me for keeping to myself/having my own thoughts/not feeding into their biases and dramas. They’d lash out at me for standing alone and not joining a group. I was also bullied by the biggest bullies yet they never defeated me (they eventually got the picture that continuing to bully me would of been detrimental to their well being).
Bullies are everywhere, and anyone who misuses their strength over others seemingly free of or indifferent to the consequences. The bully is someone who desperately needs to face the mirror. The same could be said about the unhealthy ego in general though. It’s mad and hypocritical. It’ll attack you for what’s it doing. It’ll contradict itself in the same sentence. All in some dazed fantasy realm that distorts reality, free of self reflection and accountability. Not everyone is a “bully”, yet the typical asleep and unhealthy ego is more on the spectrum of the bully than it is on the spectrum of the hero and true self. The inner self. The authentic self, at one with thy heart and soul.
We’re all victims in some way or another in this world. How we handle it writes our tales. How we handle it is what makes us our own heroes or bullies. Some people are more asleep than others, some are madder than others. The more you awaken the more this becomes noticeable. Sometimes because those bullies and mad egos will try to push you around or take advantage of you. It’s all an incredible challenge but if you are awakening you’re already on the path. You likely have the strength to find your way, and the way is within. It’s knowing thyself. It’s your inner/higher self. It’s staying true, holding yourself both high and accountable, even when the world seems mad. It’s fully embracing yourself, it’s self forgiveness and empathy, even when the world seems cruel and unforgiving.
It takes tremendous strength to have your own mind. It takes tremendous humility, maturity, and compassion to know how mad and immature people (with their egos) can and will probably be to you at some point or another. The more you stand as your own person, the more challenges you face from the group and group think.
It is admirable for any of us to practice stillness, centeredness, and objectivity. It’s admirable when any of us exercises calmness of mind. It’s the most “bad ass” thing one can do, in a Kung Fu kind of way. It’ll make you stronger than any extroverted and flashy display of dominance.
I’ve always believed in pushing the self. Push thyself until thyself faces the mirror and has their breakdowns. Do not be afraid of those break downs, embrace them and come out stronger. Don’t push others around or attack others, especially when it’d be easy to do so.
To master the self is the greatest challenge.
It makes you tough because you’re immediately an outsider to your fellow human beings, and being an outsider now you must develop your internal strength, non attachment, and even compassion to deal with people who are going to pick on you for being an outsider.
Outsider is really code for your true Self.
It’s what makes us all insiders on the real journey. It unifies us all, no matter the mountains we have to climb or how we get there. True Self.