I tend to have good senses. If something is about to happen, like some event or upheaval, I tend to sense it. My intuition is at least exercised and used. I wouldn’t say it’s better than others. I’ve known people much more intuitive than me.

It’s not easy in any capacity because you’re the canary in the coal mine and most people don’t want to hear you sing. They don’t want to be interrupted or disrupted from the rush and distraction even if they’re breathing toxic gas.

If you go to the opposite end of the spectrum though you find not just your intuition and awareness of things whether good or bad, you realize just how much you don’t know.

Having keen senses is one thing but sensing is not the same as knowing.

So then you realize how much you don’t know. Which is a hurdle enough. Coming to peace with that is itself difficult… I mean shoot, everything you see and touch is processed in your brain so are you really seeing anything? Is anything really 3D when you can only see the front of it with your two eyes? Atoms don’t ever touch so are you really touching anything? Are you touching your lover when skin presses? Well yeah energy touches in a lover’s context and you feel energy radiated from their atoms when pressed against their body. For the sake of mind boggling thought exercises atoms/matter never actually touch.

So being content with how much we don’t know can be a challenge. For some it’s mind blowing in a good way, it leaves them in awe and wonder. For some it’s more scary and daunting. To have that realization is a challenge though.

So if you go further along that spectrum of, “I’m not gonna be an ego dazed coal miner but more of a canary” you begin to become aware of the fact that you don’t know.

It’s not enough that we’re blind and ignorant in this world/matrix to varying degrees, now you’re realizing it. Self awareness, the self observing itself, is kicking in.

You begin to think of all the times in your life when maybe you had a sense about something, maybe you didn’t, but you couldn’t possibly know what happened or came next. Even if your intuition was most strong it wouldn’t be the same as “knowing”.

So now you start to make peace with how blind you are. Not just that you are blind but that you know it and you also know that anything can happen in life and you might not know it.

Nothing is totally random, everything depends on probabilities and potentials, but we’re not even aware of all the probabilities let alone knowing.

People think the end of the journey of self awakening is some great wisdom. What if it’s realizing how much you don’t know, how blind you are, and coming to terms with that? What if it’s simply being able to live with that awareness and knowledge? You’re still in the same coal mine as the drunken miners but you’re aware of it.

At least you’re free from having to protect yourself from the reality of the cave and from knowing. So many miners in the cave spend their lives trying to distract themselves from any sense of awareness, from any knowing, because it’s too much to deal with (and ends whatever illusion they have). It takes a lot of energy to keep that up.

So at least you’re free from your own inner bondage and anxious neurosis, if not from the cave itself and your own blindness.

Maybe your mind begins to percolate. Maybe rays of light poke through Plato’s cave. Maybe you begin to wonder what can be known and if you do truly know anything. Maybe enlightenment itself is not some grand thing but a baby step on a grand unfathomable stage.

But you find strength and confidence in taking those steps. There’s a comfort because unlike the miners totally at the whim of the cave AND their own blindness, you’ve taken some power back in yourself. A small amount, maybe foolish and easy to write off as not even real. Moisture on Mercury is more noticeable.

Yet it’s SOMETHING and knowing that you created that something in yourself is something. The work wasn’t done for you by God, higher beings, or gurus.

You CREATED something in yourself with your something, however blind and ignorant your something, and that is something.