See this first http://awaken.realitymeetsdream.com/from-eve-to-sophia
Healing twounded masculine is related to the topic of the anima, emotional development, and how a man sees women. If the masculine in a man is wounded he’s going to have trouble actualizing higher emotional development/meeting the higher anima in himself and women. You could say the same about women or flip it for them.
My point with including this in the other writing is the wounded masculine is a big problem among men, and often hidden. Male emotional and mental health doesn’t get enough attention, partly because men keep it to themselves and partly because our world doesn’t cater to understanding and healing the masculine. It may be a “man’s” world yet at the same time that world could give a shit about the psyches of men. That world expects men to toil likes dogs eating dogs, and kill themselves as tools for the “machine”. What happens to your sense of masculine worth the moment you can’t toil and you’re not useful to the machine? That thought scares a lot of men. So we hide our wounds, our vulnerabilities, our shortcomings. We want to be seen as manly and useful. We don’t want to be thrown out like Neo getting ejected into the sewer from the machine of the Matrix. Even if that machine is abusive and draining.
So yeah the wounded masculine is a big problem in our world yet don’t expect most guys to admit their own wounds to even themselves.
Now intro aside and to return to topic, what I was pointing to in the previous Jungian inspired post is how the wounded masculine makes men more prone to falling to the Eve archetype or the lower and chaotic level of anima. The Eve archetype is naively destructively, not intentionally, yet that’s why it’s so dangerous to the wounded masculine.
The naively hurtful Eve as a woman is emotionally immature, inconsistent and chaotic, plays mind games, is naively destructive. The male equivalent is probably the fuckboy, although conscious intention is more often assigned to the emotionally immature male than female. This attempt to protect women from self accountability is actually quite denigrating because while it’s saying even the dimmest fuckboy must take full responsibility for his fuckboyery, the woman who is as immature shouldn’t have to take responsibility for herself. I’m of the mind that EVERYONE, male or female, should take responsibility for their emotional maturity and actions. Every situation is different but I think everyone has the potential to grow and should be treated with that dignity.
Eve as the archetype of naivety is about being unconsciously immature and reckless when it comes to the emotional being. Whether toward others and their feelings, or getting oneself into trouble. Self awareness and the willingness to grow emotionally is the light we need to shine light on Eve and mature. Not to reject her or exclude her from the psyche, but to see her for what she is and tuck her into place so she doesn’t rule us but serves the wholeness and well being of the psyche, and does still provide us with her childlike wonder for life itself.
Men with a masculine wound who haven’t healed will find the wounded masculine is especially susceptible to the wounded and worse the toxic feminine. The naive Eve will often lead the wounded and arrested man to ruin. Which is not necessarily to say Eve as literal women, although sometimes it is literal women just as literal immature men sometimes lead women to ruin. When I say “Eve” I mean naivety in general, men can play the Eve archetype too. We’re all Eve in some way on the road to becoming the Sophia, or the fully actualized/dynamic/wiser self.
It is more fundamental to say the man who is stuck at a low level of emotional growth and seeing women that way is doing himself a disservice and it would behest him to follow his potential to grow. It is to say if anyone is moving in a regressive direction emotionally they will likely find misery and chaos.
Although in the cases of literal women who lead men to ruin, we still return to the need for the man to develop his anima and emotion maturity. By developing and mastering that a man gains mastery over himself, his heart, and most importantly his balls. So yeah the naively reckless Eve is most tempting to the man who doesn’t have control over his balls. So a wise man doesn’t think mastery for a man is owning a woman like “Hey you! I gave you my male attention! Serve me!”. Hell no, and a wise man has some reverence for women because he knows what they can do to his heart and balls. Especially the seemingly innocent “Eve” if he naively loses his self control. Now obviously sometimes it’s fun to surrender the self control, notice I said surrender as to imply conscious and willingly.
Self mastery for a man begins within in of and over himself. His own emotions and feelings, and the things which can lead him around to temptation and all sorts of trouble. I don’t mean fun trouble, I mean trouble. A man has to work not just on his masculine side but his feminine side or it will dominate him, from within and without. You might say, “What about the guys who are controlling douche bags? What about the guys fucking hundreds of different women. Isn’t that mastery?”. It depends on your definition of mastery. I would say that guys doing that are lead by their dicks and where their lower instincts take them. I wouldn’t call that mastery. I’d say that man is being owned and not owning his balls. Not by external women but by the lowest level of his anima.
So again self mastery for a man begins within, with developing his confidence, self knowledge, masculine side and knowing his feminine side. There’s a lot more to explore with the feminine than the lowest instincts. They are enjoyable but not when they own you. In the higher anima is Divine beauty found, creativity, love and all things that make a man awe at the feminine. To see the Goddess.
**We do a lot to expand or limit ourselves (emotionally and mentally) by the reflections of the feminine/masculine we seek in others.**
When a man can see that Goddess in a woman and yet is also getting down and dirty with her, indulging the animal instincts, that’s the magic of love in the flesh. The point is indulging from a place of self mastery and control.
A man has to check himself and not be lead around by his desires for immediate gratification. There are greater and more fulfilling highs to be had but as men especially we have to be careful about shorting ourselves out with the quick highs. The male brain loves its ecstasy. Why do you think so many guys love video games or just watching TV, sometimes more than sex? I would say some young men have an addiction to technology. It beams instant gratification to the pleasure and reward center of the brain, which can become easier than trying to talk to women and relate to them as men not boys.
If that’s not enough to deal with, as I said and what this post is really about, what if a man has also been wounded in some way? What if he suffered a wound to his sense of identity and confidence? For starters he probably doesn’t talk about it, he might not even admit it to himself. It might be buried. His addictions whether to empty sex, substance abuse, or even video games might be a way to avoid it. Sometimes guys are just being selfish narcissists with their addictions, and sometimes they’re really wounded. I would say there’s actually a lot of wounding of the masculine in our world and this causes many problems. It’s a patriarchy yet a dysfunctional patriarchy and wounded men create more wounding.
The wounded masculine often becomes the wounded masculine rescuer to women. The wounded masculine rescuer has a terminal problem when it comes to being seduced by the “innocent” wiles of Eve or her damsel in distress. How could it not? If it is wounded how is it supposed to be masterful? Mastery implies wholeness and strength.
Sometimes a man tries to “rescue” women because he’s simply a chauvinist who sees women as helpless objects. Although sometimes it’s because the man is wounded and believes the only way to redeem himself and be worthy is to denigrate himself. So a sort of depression sets into the wounded masculine complex. Sort of, “Well I’m not good enough to rise above this rut but I can make myself useful in abusively self denigrating ways”. The wounded masculine rescuer is an expression of self abandonment and defeat. Unconscious expression of the wound itself, being stuck in the wound and wounded state.
The wounded masculine rescure sees himself as something unworthy (which is to say insecurity and low self worth/esteem are part of the wounded masculine). He sees the feminine as something to rescue, which is obviously not to see the feminine in esteem. The difference is the intention and place that the wounded rescuer approaches from vs the plain narcissist. There’s often a genuineness to the wounded rescuer. He genuinely wants to love the feminine and believes the only way to redeem/save/whatever “her” is by invalidating himself… Which is where he goes askew and harms himself far more than he does women (narcissistic immature women benefit from the wounded masculine rescuer because he’ll foolishly do ANYTHING for their selfishness!).
Obviously any worthy woman or inner image of anima would not want a man to invalidate but to validate himself and rise in his power.
The wounded masculine on the other hand will often beat itself up and bleed itself dry for the feminine in an effort to prove itself to her and redeem itself. To save her from the horrors of the big bad world. While he is actually naive and not seeing that her wounded and dark side might be part of those horrors! The wounded masculine rescuer often goes unnoticed to women (seeking validation from without not within) despite how much he bleeds himself or worse he’ll find a toxic woman who sees his masochism as something to prey upon. The dark side in her might see him as a fool and use him like the object to abuse.
*I’m not saying to vilify someone who is wounded and acting from the toxic masculine/feminine. Of course to first show consideration is always good. How we approach others when they’re wounded is important and a topic in itself. It takes maturity to deal with someone’s dark side. Not naively offer yourself to be abused, instead approach them with love, wisdom, and acceptance. That can be tough depending on what they throw at you. There is no right or wrong answer about when to stick with someone and when to walk away. It’s up to each of us to decide for ourselves. Self knowledge and self love are important when doing that.*
As well any rescuer attempt is something many women find demeaning because they don’t want to be patronized (no one wants to be patronized). The self actualized person wants a partner evolved in their own right. There’s a huge difference between helping someone, showing them care and concern, even madly loving them and saving them in some way with some selfless gesture… vs. patronizing them.
It is oppressive when anyone USEs another person to fix their self. To deprive another person of self autonomy is selfish. I’ve seen this happen, usually by narcissistic immature men who felt they had to “rescue” women but they really wanted to selfishly possess them and clip their wings. Those women get held down in emotional regression by the narcissists. Not the kind of “pinning down” and “domination” that makes a woman thrive. Men with low emotional development, who see women as Eve-like children, destroy the Sophia in the women they possess. Beware anyone who’s out to kill your highest self growth potential.
The oppressive destruction of another person’s psyche and identity also happens with women to men, women to women, and men to men. It’s never a good thing when the dark tyrant in someone wants to destroy the identity in another person so they can use them for a false sense of wholeness. It’s much better to see the best in others and want them to spread their wings, to become their highest and most actualized selves.
So what is the answer for the man with the wounded masculine? The self masochistic rescuer or even the narcissist with a control problem? The solution is to work on uncovering and healing the wound. It’s realizing and finding the wholeness in and with the self. The state of that wholeness might not be in good shape after being wounded yet it is still there, waiting to be rediscovered. Let me bold that, **OUR WHOLENESS NEVER LEAVES US. IT IS ALWAYS THERE EVEN IF IN THE SHADOWS IN A BRUISED STATE.**
The most powerful ally in that is self love and discovery. Whatever quiet moments and ways one needs to take to heal. Whatever healing, therapy, or so forth is sought, self love is vital. For a man it’s important to healing the wounded masculine, and so is self respect. Self respect breeds self confidence and self esteem. It reinforces the masculine strength. Men gain their balls back by not thinking about their balls, or rather what pulls their balls around. By getting in touch with themselves and “doing”. Hobbies, trades, crafts, arts. The wounded masculine doesn’t feel useful so you find ways to be active and useful to yourself that don’t depend on others.
Physical movement is helpful in healing wounds. Especially for men, it gets the testosterone circulating. So like exercise and getting to know one’s body as one gets to know their psyche. Mediation while in motion. The body stores pain until released so combining physical work with the inner work is useful. Yes sex can be healing but I’m talking about a more personal starting point which begins with the relationship to the self.
The answer is obviously to work on basic emotional maturity/self growth too. It’s also to work on how a man sees the feminine/women. To see the feminine as something strong in its own right, able to stand on its own feet. To see women as strong/capable equals (equally deserving of acknowledgment and respect, as we have different strengths and qualities as men and women). Just being able to see the strengths in the “other” can be inspiring and encouraging. This is what I mean by the influence men/women have on each other, especially the power women have with their influence.
I can attest to this when I faced my own wounds. It was meeting inspiring women and that said to me, “If she’s on her feet I can get back on mine. I can heal and be strong”. Yes those inspiring women often inspired my balls yet also something deeper. Inspiring a man’s balls will snap him to his feet, compel something deeper in him and he’ll run the whole marathon though.
Sometimes for us men it’s not meeting a literal woman, it’s getting in touch with one’s own anima and Goddess which will inspire the man to heal his masculinity and walk the path of self mastery. Actually this can be more powerful because you’re not looking for an external person to be an angel for you.
As men we like motivation, we like dedication, we like feeling that there’s a purpose to what we’re doing though. Which is why cultivating the inner anima is important. The Goddess once whispered to a man the most important purpose, “You’re not doing this for me. You’re doing this for yourself”. I’ve contemplated this adage and I realized I’m doing the healing for myself, and I will end up bringing myself to everyone I meet.
So it’s important for us men to grow emotionally and develop how we relate to the feminine within and see women. It’s important for the wounded man to not see them as helpless demeaned things he must oppressively rescue, or himself as lesser so he must redeem himself by wounding/humiliating himself. Which is like trying to heal a cut by making it bigger, it doesn’t make sense yet the wounded parts of ourselves never make sense. The way to heal those parts is to first acknowledge and accept them, and there we find how the “self hug” can be the most necessary hug. That’s true for any non physical wound. They require a lot of self awakening, self love and sometimes the tough kind, self care, self work.
The worst wounds require that we learn about ourselves because only by learning about ourselves and maturing can we embrace and heal ourselves. There is nothing more important in the world than that healing, whatever the wound. There’s so much wounding and discontent out there, and people beating themselves up which kills the soul. So there’s nothing more important than taking an interest in our own healing. It is the MOST important thing to the state of our human collective. Facing the wounds, facing the shadow, and becoming a self actualized individuated “I” through doing so. Through the self awareness. Through getting in touch with the part of ourselves which is aware of the awareness.
The bravest use it in facing their selves, their shadows and wounds. They get to know themselves intimately, the light and the dark, the good and their capacity for bad. The narcissists say run from authenticity, to empty highs and hollow meaning… and that describes many people unfortunately. It’s not the natural state of our human conditions yet is the unnaturally natural state of our overly extroverted/run around until you drop/never self reflect and get to know yourself modern culture.
Surmising – wounds can make us self destructive and reckless. The deepest wounds imprint/incline us toward more wounding. Becoming aware of that, of ourselves, is part of the growth related to Jungian psychology and self growth in general.
When we’re wounded sometimes we find people who feed into our realities of wounding. So we must ask ourselves “Is this my natural state and authentic reality?”. This isn’t to say everything others do to us is our fault, which would be narcissistic to believe because none of us has that much power over other people. It is to say we see the world from how we are in ourselves, and sometimes people are skewed by wounds and imprints which might be unconscious. We might not realize how we’re limiting ourselves. We might not realize we’re in the dark and life can be much brighter. In that struggle we must remember we can’t control everything but there is a lot we can control in ourselves.
That’s my point with these posts. To always strive for self realization and growth. The archetypes and ideas discussed here are a mere piece of the big picture.
Self knowledge is power and sometimes the most important power we have is in defining our inner landscapes. It’s realizing we have the freedom to actualize ourselves and become our highest selves. As I said in the other post there is no absolute point of evolution, no one is better than others. Working on any self healing, any of it at all, puts us on a common positive trajectory.
Self knowledge is power. Self love is empowering. To heal is to strengthen.