Category Archives: true self

From Eve to Sophia – the wounded masculine

See this first

Healing twounded masculine is related to the topic of the anima, emotional development, and how a man sees women. If the masculine in a man is wounded he’s going to have trouble actualizing higher emotional development/meeting the higher anima in himself and women. You could say the same about women or flip it for them.

My point with including this in the other writing is the wounded masculine is a big problem among men, and often hidden. Male emotional and mental health doesn’t get enough attention, partly because men keep it to themselves and partly because our world doesn’t cater to understanding and healing the masculine. It may be a “man’s” world yet at the same time that world could give a shit about the psyches of men. That world expects men to toil likes dogs eating dogs, and kill themselves as tools for the “machine”. What happens to your sense of masculine worth the moment you can’t toil and you’re not useful to the machine? That thought scares a lot of men. So we hide our wounds, our vulnerabilities, our shortcomings. We want to be seen as manly and useful. We don’t want to be thrown out like Neo getting ejected into the sewer from the machine of the Matrix. Even if that machine is abusive and draining.

So yeah the wounded masculine is a big problem in our world yet don’t expect most guys to admit their own wounds to even themselves.

Now intro aside and to return to topic, what I was pointing to in the previous Jungian inspired post is how the wounded masculine makes men more prone to falling to the Eve archetype or the lower and chaotic level of anima. The Eve archetype is naively destructively, not intentionally, yet that’s why it’s so dangerous to the wounded masculine.

The naively hurtful Eve as a woman is emotionally immature, inconsistent and chaotic, plays mind games, is naively destructive. The male equivalent is probably the fuckboy, although conscious intention is more often assigned to the emotionally immature male than female. This attempt to protect women from self accountability is actually quite denigrating because while it’s saying even the dimmest fuckboy must take full responsibility for his fuckboyery, the woman who is as immature shouldn’t have to take responsibility for herself. I’m of the mind that EVERYONE, male or female, should take responsibility for their emotional maturity and actions. Every situation is different but I think everyone has the potential to grow and should be treated with that dignity.

Eve as the archetype of naivety is about being unconsciously immature and reckless when it comes to the emotional being. Whether toward others and their feelings, or getting oneself into trouble. Self awareness and the willingness to grow emotionally is the light we need to shine light on Eve and mature. Not to reject her or exclude her from the psyche, but to see her for what she is and tuck her into place so she doesn’t rule us but serves the wholeness and well being of the psyche, and does still provide us with her childlike wonder for life itself.

Men with a masculine wound who haven’t healed will find the wounded masculine is especially susceptible to the wounded and worse the toxic feminine. The naive Eve will often lead the wounded and arrested man to ruin. Which is not necessarily to say Eve as literal women, although sometimes it is literal women just as literal immature men sometimes lead women to ruin. When I say “Eve” I mean naivety in general, men can play the Eve archetype too. We’re all Eve in some way on the road to becoming the Sophia, or the fully actualized/dynamic/wiser self.

It is more fundamental to say the man who is stuck at a low level of emotional growth and seeing women that way is doing himself a disservice and it would behest him to follow his potential to grow. It is to say if anyone is moving in a regressive direction emotionally they will likely find misery and chaos.

Although in the cases of literal women who lead men to ruin, we still return to the need for the man to develop his anima and emotion maturity. By developing and mastering that a man gains mastery over himself, his heart, and most importantly his balls. So yeah the naively reckless Eve is most tempting to the man who doesn’t have control over his balls. So a wise man doesn’t think mastery for a man is owning a woman like “Hey you! I gave you my male attention! Serve me!”. Hell no, and a wise man has some reverence for women because he knows what they can do to his heart and balls. Especially the seemingly innocent “Eve” if he naively loses his self control. Now obviously sometimes it’s fun to surrender the self control, notice I said surrender as to imply conscious and willingly.

Self mastery for a man begins within in of and over himself. His own emotions and feelings, and the things which can lead him around to temptation and all sorts of trouble. I don’t mean fun trouble, I mean trouble. A man has to work not just on his masculine side but his feminine side or it will dominate him, from within and without. You might say, “What about the guys who are controlling douche bags? What about the guys fucking hundreds of different women. Isn’t that mastery?”. It depends on your definition of mastery. I would say that guys doing that are lead by their dicks and where their lower instincts take them. I wouldn’t call that mastery. I’d say that man is being owned and not owning his balls. Not by external women but by the lowest level of his anima.

So again self mastery for a man begins within, with developing his confidence, self knowledge, masculine side and knowing his feminine side. There’s a lot more to explore with the feminine than the lowest instincts. They are enjoyable but not when they own you. In the higher anima is Divine beauty found, creativity, love and all things that make a man awe at the feminine. To see the Goddess.

**We do a lot to expand or limit ourselves (emotionally and mentally) by the reflections of the feminine/masculine we seek in others.**

When a man can see that Goddess in a woman and yet is also getting down and dirty with her, indulging the animal instincts, that’s the magic of love in the flesh. The point is indulging from a place of self mastery and control.

A man has to check himself and not be lead around by his desires for immediate gratification. There are greater and more fulfilling highs to be had but as men especially we have to be careful about shorting ourselves out with the quick highs. The male brain loves its ecstasy. Why do you think so many guys love video games or just watching TV, sometimes more than sex? I would say some young men have an addiction to technology. It beams instant gratification to the pleasure and reward center of the brain, which can become easier than trying to talk to women and relate to them as men not boys.

If that’s not enough to deal with, as I said and what this post is really about, what if a man has also been wounded in some way? What if he suffered a wound to his sense of identity and confidence? For starters he probably doesn’t talk about it, he might not even admit it to himself. It might be buried. His addictions whether to empty sex, substance abuse, or even video games might be a way to avoid it. Sometimes guys are just being selfish narcissists with their addictions, and sometimes they’re really wounded. I would say there’s actually a lot of wounding of the masculine in our world and this causes many problems. It’s a patriarchy yet a dysfunctional patriarchy and wounded men create more wounding.

The wounded masculine often becomes the wounded masculine rescuer to women. The wounded masculine rescuer has a terminal problem when it comes to being seduced by the “innocent” wiles of Eve or her damsel in distress. How could it not? If it is wounded how is it supposed to be masterful? Mastery implies wholeness and strength.

Sometimes a man tries to “rescue” women because he’s simply a chauvinist who sees women as helpless objects. Although sometimes it’s because the man is wounded and believes the only way to redeem himself and be worthy is to denigrate himself. So a sort of depression sets into the wounded masculine complex. Sort of, “Well I’m not good enough to rise above this rut but I can make myself useful in abusively self denigrating ways”. The wounded masculine rescuer is an expression of self abandonment and defeat. Unconscious expression of the wound itself, being stuck in the wound and wounded state.

The wounded masculine rescure sees himself as something unworthy (which is to say insecurity and low self worth/esteem are part of the wounded masculine). He sees the feminine as something to rescue, which is obviously not to see the feminine in esteem. The difference is the intention and place that the wounded rescuer approaches from vs the plain narcissist. There’s often a genuineness to the wounded rescuer. He genuinely wants to love the feminine and believes the only way to redeem/save/whatever “her” is by invalidating himself… Which is where he goes askew and harms himself far more than he does women (narcissistic immature women benefit from the wounded masculine rescuer because he’ll foolishly do ANYTHING for their selfishness!).

Obviously any worthy woman or inner image of anima would not want a man to invalidate but to validate himself and rise in his power.

The wounded masculine on the other hand will often beat itself up and bleed itself dry for the feminine in an effort to prove itself to her and redeem itself. To save her from the horrors of the big bad world. While he is actually naive and not seeing that her wounded and dark side might be part of those horrors! The wounded masculine rescuer often goes unnoticed to women (seeking validation from without not within) despite how much he bleeds himself or worse he’ll find a toxic woman who sees his masochism as something to prey upon. The dark side in her might see him as a fool and use him like the object to abuse.

*I’m not saying to vilify someone who is wounded and acting from the toxic masculine/feminine. Of course to first show consideration is always good. How we approach others when they’re wounded is important and a topic in itself. It takes maturity to deal with someone’s dark side. Not naively offer yourself to be abused, instead approach them with love, wisdom, and acceptance. That can be tough depending on what they throw at you. There is no right or wrong answer about when to stick with someone and when to walk away. It’s up to each of us to decide for ourselves. Self knowledge and self love are important when doing that.*

As well any rescuer attempt is something many women find demeaning because they don’t want to be patronized (no one wants to be patronized). The self actualized person wants a partner evolved in their own right. There’s a huge difference between helping someone, showing them care and concern, even madly loving them and saving them in some way with some selfless gesture… vs. patronizing them.

It is oppressive when anyone USEs another person to fix their self. To deprive another person of self autonomy is selfish. I’ve seen this happen, usually by narcissistic immature men who felt they had to “rescue” women but they really wanted to selfishly possess them and clip their wings. Those women get held down in emotional regression by the narcissists. Not the kind of “pinning down” and “domination” that makes a woman thrive. Men with low emotional development, who see women as Eve-like children, destroy the Sophia in the women they possess. Beware anyone who’s out to kill your highest self growth potential.

The oppressive destruction of another person’s psyche and identity also happens with women to men, women to women, and men to men. It’s never a good thing when the dark tyrant in someone wants to destroy the identity in another person so they can use them for a false sense of wholeness. It’s much better to see the best in others and want them to spread their wings, to become their highest and most actualized selves.

So what is the answer for the man with the wounded masculine? The self masochistic rescuer or even the narcissist with a control problem? The solution is to work on uncovering and healing the wound. It’s realizing and finding the wholeness in and with the self. The state of that wholeness might not be in good shape after being wounded yet it is still there, waiting to be rediscovered. Let me bold that, **OUR WHOLENESS NEVER LEAVES US. IT IS ALWAYS THERE EVEN IF IN THE SHADOWS IN A BRUISED STATE.**

The most powerful ally in that is self love and discovery. Whatever quiet moments and ways one needs to take to heal. Whatever healing, therapy, or so forth is sought, self love is vital. For a man it’s important to healing the wounded masculine, and so is self respect. Self respect breeds self confidence and self esteem. It reinforces the masculine strength. Men gain their balls back by not thinking about their balls, or rather what pulls their balls around. By getting in touch with themselves and “doing”. Hobbies, trades, crafts, arts. The wounded masculine doesn’t feel useful so you find ways to be active and useful to yourself that don’t depend on others.

Physical movement is helpful in healing wounds. Especially for men, it gets the testosterone circulating. So like exercise and getting to know one’s body as one gets to know their psyche. Mediation while in motion. The body stores pain until released so combining physical work with the inner work is useful. Yes sex can be healing but I’m talking about a more personal starting point which begins with the relationship to the self.

The answer is obviously to work on basic emotional maturity/self growth too. It’s also to work on how a man sees the feminine/women. To see the feminine as something strong in its own right, able to stand on its own feet. To see women as strong/capable equals (equally deserving of acknowledgment and respect, as we have different strengths and qualities as men and women). Just being able to see the strengths in the “other” can be inspiring and encouraging. This is what I mean by the influence men/women have on each other, especially the power women have with their influence.

I can attest to this when I faced my own wounds. It was meeting inspiring women and that said to me, “If she’s on her feet I can get back on mine. I can heal and be strong”. Yes those inspiring women often inspired my balls yet also something deeper. Inspiring a man’s balls will snap him to his feet, compel something deeper in him and he’ll run the whole marathon though.

Sometimes for us men it’s not meeting a literal woman, it’s getting in touch with one’s own anima and Goddess which will inspire the man to heal his masculinity and walk the path of self mastery. Actually this can be more powerful because you’re not looking for an external person to be an angel for you.

As men we like motivation, we like dedication, we like feeling that there’s a purpose to what we’re doing though. Which is why cultivating the inner anima is important. The Goddess once whispered to a man the most important purpose, “You’re not doing this for me. You’re doing this for yourself”. I’ve contemplated this adage and I realized I’m doing the healing for myself, and I will end up bringing myself to everyone I meet.

So it’s important for us men to grow emotionally and develop how we relate to the feminine within and see women. It’s important for the wounded man to not see them as helpless demeaned things he must oppressively rescue, or himself as lesser so he must redeem himself by wounding/humiliating himself. Which is like trying to heal a cut by making it bigger, it doesn’t make sense yet the wounded parts of ourselves never make sense. The way to heal those parts is to first acknowledge and accept them, and there we find how the “self hug” can be the most necessary hug. That’s true for any non physical wound. They require a lot of self awakening, self love and sometimes the tough kind, self care, self work.

The worst wounds require that we learn about ourselves because only by learning about ourselves and maturing can we embrace and heal ourselves. There is nothing more important in the world than that healing, whatever the wound. There’s so much wounding and discontent out there, and people beating themselves up which kills the soul. So there’s nothing more important than taking an interest in our own healing. It is the MOST important thing to the state of our human collective. Facing the wounds, facing the shadow, and becoming a self actualized individuated “I” through doing so. Through the self awareness. Through getting in touch with the part of ourselves which is aware of the awareness.

The bravest use it in facing their selves, their shadows and wounds. They get to know themselves intimately, the light and the dark, the good and their capacity for bad. The narcissists say run from authenticity, to empty highs and hollow meaning… and that describes many people unfortunately. It’s not the natural state of our human conditions yet is the unnaturally natural state of our overly extroverted/run around until you drop/never self reflect and get to know yourself modern culture.

Surmising – wounds can make us self destructive and reckless. The deepest wounds imprint/incline us toward more wounding. Becoming aware of that, of ourselves, is part of the growth related to Jungian psychology and self growth in general.

When we’re wounded sometimes we find people who feed into our realities of wounding. So we must ask ourselves “Is this my natural state and authentic reality?”. This isn’t to say everything others do to us is our fault, which would be narcissistic to believe because none of us has that much power over other people. It is to say we see the world from how we are in ourselves, and sometimes people are skewed by wounds and imprints which might be unconscious. We might not realize how we’re limiting ourselves. We might not realize we’re in the dark and life can be much brighter. In that struggle we must remember we can’t control everything but there is a lot we can control in ourselves.

That’s my point with these posts. To always strive for self realization and growth. The archetypes and ideas discussed here are a mere piece of the big picture.

Self knowledge is power and sometimes the most important power we have is in defining our inner landscapes. It’s realizing we have the freedom to actualize ourselves and become our highest selves. As I said in the other post there is no absolute point of evolution, no one is better than others. Working on any self healing, any of it at all, puts us on a common positive trajectory.

Self knowledge is power. Self love is empowering. To heal is to strengthen.

From Eve to Sophia

Levels of anima development

Carl Jung believed anima development has four distinct levels, which in “The psychology of the transference” he named Eve, Helen, Mary and Sophia. In broad terms, the entire process of anima development in a man is about the male subject opening up to emotionality, and in that way a broader spirituality, by creating a new conscious paradigm that includes intuitive processes, creativity and imagination, and psychic sensitivity towards himself and others where it might not have existed previously.


The first is Eve, named after the Genesis account of Adam and Eve. It deals with the emergence of a man’s object of desire. The anima is completely tied up with woman as provider of nourishment, security and love. The man at this anima level cannot function well without a woman, and is more likely to be controlled by her. He is often impotent or has no sexual desire.


The second is Helen, an allusion to Helen of Troy in Greek mythology. In this phase, women are viewed as capable of worldly success and of being self-reliant, intelligent and insightful, even if not altogether virtuous. This second phase is meant to show a strong schism in external talents (cultivated business and conventional skills) with lacking internal qualities (inability for virtue, lacking faith or imagination).


The third phase is Mary, named after the Christian theological understanding of the Virgin Mary (Jesus’ mother). At this level, women can now seem to possess virtue by the perceiving man (even if in an esoteric and dogmatic way), in as much as certain activities deemed consciously unvirtuous cannot be applied to her.


The fourth and final phase of anima development is Sophia, named after the Greek word for wisdom. Complete integration has now occurred, which allows women to be seen and related to as particular individuals who possess both positive and negative qualities. The most important aspect of this final level is that, as the personification “Wisdom” suggests, the anima is now developed enough that no single object can fully and permanently contain the images to which it is related.


My Thoughts

For the women, what do you entice in men and what do you hope to bring out in them?

Is it the seduction of Eve, the hopeless and naive downfall of the man locked in obsession?

Is it the basic respect that a man feels for the Helen archetype and her ability to move through and excel in the professional career world?

Is it the softer affinity that a man feels for the Mary or matriarchal archetype, which embodies what most people think of as the highest expression of the feminine? There’s a stark difference between the Mary and Helen archetypes. The Mary can be the professional in the career world but has also embraced her softer/more emotional feminine side.

Is it Sophia, the Goddess, emotional depth and wisdom itself?

Are these questions offensive? Is it offensive that I’m posing questions that ask women what they are to men rather than just ask women where they think they are in their own anima development?

Before you reply with offense, keep in mind how much POWER women have over men. Women have great influence, sway, seduction, and subtle leadership over men. I know I’m generalizing yet it is generally true.

Wars have been started over women. Women have vast power in this world from at a material level being able to choose what genes get carried on. To the more subtle/psychological/emotional level of influence over men with their presence.

So when I pose a question like “Women, what are you inspiring and bringing out of men?” it’s not to say that you’re objects for men. It’s to say men are often the objects easily influenced and seduced by women.

I support and encourage the “Sophia” woman, or the woman who has the potential to become a Goddess in her own right. I have always marveled at that and supported that self actualization in women. I admire the full range of humanity in a woman, which includes the light and dark side. That women are as human, perfect and flawed, as I am.

To the men out there, where are you at your level of emotional development? How do you see women? How do you perceive your ideal woman?

Is she the alluring yet simple and quaint, seductive yet naively destructive Eve? Is she a mindless sex thing? Just something to use and abuse? To solely treat like an object without a mind of its own? A helpless damsel who can’t think for herself and needs you to rescue and do everything for her?

Is she more intellectually competent like the Helen? Do you see the intellect in her? Is she an equal at school or at work?

Is she the matriarchal Mary or even more evolved, the Goddess herself? Full and multi dimensional. Do you see the higher reflection of your own anima in her?

and of course no man’s or woman’s anima development is strictly any archetype, it’s a mixture of all at different levels, generally speaking one’s focus is going to be stronger at one of those levels though

Which is to say a man’s feminine side isn’t constrained to a singular thing. He sees the animating presence of the anima in all things. In all of nature. Everything is beautiful (and sometimes dark) and of the Goddess to him. The world is the Goddess and so he is richly in love.

He doesn’t need Eve to be in love, as much as Eve would want him to believe that ALL his love should be directed to her and anything less is a show of infidelity to the insecure Eve. When he finds his Eve she becomes part of his emotional tapestry and the love he has for life itself.

In this way a man can actually help a woman emotionally develop. IF she trusts him and realizes that life isn’t an unrealistic fairy tale of Adam and Eve where lovers obsessively focus on each other and there’s nothing else.

A woman can go far with an emotionally evolved man if she trusts that even though he falls in love with the sky… and he feels ecstasy in the breeze… he feels passion for life itself… he still loves her in a way most special and exalted. She holds a special place in his heart.

As much as a man can fall in love with life itself and not need to obsess about partnership… There is still a special place in his heart that is only for his Eve/Helen/Mary/Sophia. For his “mate”.

That man is going to seek a queen, a goddess, who can enjoy the depth and richness of life as much as he can. His emotions can run deep and they are tempered with wisdom because that’s what Sophia teaches men. That along with the incredible range of emotion that can be felt, there is the need for temperance and wisdom.

Of course the woman needs to know that the man’s love is utmost true. Sometimes she wants to break down to her inner child or her Eve because working day to day as the intellectually tasked Helen, or maybe she has a family and is the motherly Mary taking care of that, or Sophia and yet the weight of the world gets to be too much… There are times she needs to break down and be vulnerable and loved like she IS the only thing in the world to her man. As selfish as that sounds, sometimes she needs that. It’s not a man’s job to judge it but to just be there and provide for that need.

When I say encouraging the Goddess in women is good, I’m not against emotional vulnerability and need. As if vulnerability and need are lower states of emotional evolution?! That’s “Helen” thinking! That’s Helen reacting against the naivety/unknowing/vulnerability that are associated with Eve. So the Helen often closes off to her emotions because it’s a reaction against falling to the Eve in herself. WE HAVE ALL BEEN THE HELEN REACTING AGAINST OUR EVE! Anytime we’ve done something foolishly hurtful or been hurt because we were naive, often our reaction is to close off and run from our feelings.

I’m saying as a man, with women, if you want to meet their Sophia you have to show them that they can trust you, you have to show it by your behavior and actions. There’s an interesting truth about lower/higher archetypes. It is that the lower and higher selves are intimately close. Eve is closer to Sophia than Helen is to Sophia.

The fractal nature of reality is so true this truth is in our brain waves! By your level of zoom you’ll see higher and lower frequencies embedded in each other. If you really want to blow your mind, everything is seen from subjective standing anyways! There is no absolute state of higher evolution or devolution. We can zoom infinitely. So what matters most is not an absolute state of evolution but our direction and orientation. This is why you don’t judge others for where they are in their evolution. This is why no one is “better” than others. We can all find a solidarity in seeking and encouraging the greatness in the ourselves and each other.

Has anyone ever cried on your shoulders, man or woman, then sprung up like the Spring afterward? Their mind is more awake, breath deeper, and them calmer? You gave their inner child or Eve a hug, and then they were ready to leap back into their more “adult” self. That’s the magical power of embodying the mature side of the emotional spectrum. It’s being able to not only handle our own emotions but embrace others and show them that Sophia level of wisdom and understanding. There is so much magic in just being able to “be there” for someone and hug them or just listen to them. It can be the means in which to refresh and reset them, the comfort and release they need.

As much as emotional maturity allows a person to practice emotional empowerment it can be inversely dangerous not to develop it. The lack of development can lead us to destructive people and situations.

It behests us men, and women, to grow emotionally so that we gain the knowledge to not fall to self defeating patterns and so that we can heal our wounds and be whole in ourselves. It’s not useful to beat ourselves up for having been naive and wounded regardless of how naive we were. It is our responsibilities to seek our own healing and self actualization.

It behests a man to see more in women than just the Eve archetype. That they have minds (Helen) and there is softness to them (Mary), and individuated personalities (Sophia). That they aren’t perfect, they have light and dark sides, perfections and flaws… This again is Sophia.

Eve is being naive to the dark side and flaws, only seeing the candy exterior we want to see. Sophia is maturely seeing and accepting that people have light and dark sides. Romantic idealization is fine if at the same time we also soberly realize that even the idealized lover is human.

Real love is when we love them (man or woman) more for it. For their humanity, for their flaws. We love them from a deep, mature, unconditional, accepting place.

That’s when we get the Sophia energy working in our relationships. The “Goddess” shines upon those kinds of relationships.

That’s a full and rich light we should want to be in. As men we should strive to be in it, to evolve ourselves emotionally so that we can meet that Sophia, that Goddess. Which opens up a whole new world when it comes to how we see and relate to women.

Polarities and sides

This says it better than words.

I think reflecting on this is important.

I’m posting some words so you can read or just look. Sometimes it’s better to just look at a symbol and gain your own insight. Sometimes it helps jump start your mind to get someone else’s perspective.

This is a powerful image in my perspective.

I’ve always believed that anything that expresses from a negative/controlling/destructive/limiting/reductive place is on the same “side” as anything that does the same even if they seem opposed. A negative polarity can have many “sides” which seem opposed yet serve the same energy.

If we consider everything in our universe is curved, everything is cyclical, this helps visualize how warring “sides” are the same in the end.

The circle is a perfect shape. It doesn’t have sides although it has lines/directions and it can have opposing polarities. No matter how straight we think our path is we’re always going to curve in one direction or the other.

The problems in our world are not going to be solved at the level they were created or by going along with the currents like fish in water.

Everything takes place within the framework of universal laws. I can’t stress how important it is to be aware of this. We must rise up in awareness and see outside the paradigms given by the media, politicians, and what we reinforce among each other. Those paradigms of control never help us on the ground level. They reinforce the negative polarity and those at the top in a negatively orientated world.

It takes effort to step out of the negative patterns.

No one said it was easy.

It’s important to understand the difference between duality and polarity.

We can be polarized in dualistic thinking or we can strive to polarize ourselves with knowledge, with consciousness and understanding, with conscious love and acceptance.

“We can be” or “we can”. One way is passive, it happens “to” us. One way is proactive, as we have to embody the self aware and willful intent to traverse the path. This is a choice, if anyone is forcing us in a certain direction it is not the positive, creative, loving, embracing, expansive path. The path of love and light is absolutely a willful choice. It is a serious choice that we can only make for ourselves.

Time to Heal

Isn’t it strange when the rioting started? Which is to say when that cop killed that guy.

What timing. When the country was just starting to reopen and get back to normal.


This happens ALL THE TIME, but of course most people are asleep to it.

Every time our collective course is moving in a healing or positive direction something chaotic happens to bring things down back into chaos/dissonance/wounding/entropy.

Why was the rebellious (against the tyranny of the machine) and conscious expansive energy of the 60s subverted and distracted by the Vietnam war?

Why was the turn of the millennium, a time of new beginnings and potentials to blossom, subverted by chaos and collective wounding on 9/11?

Hope for the future is constantly subverted in our world. Consonance is brought into discord by atonal clanging notes.

Notes of dissonance like sociopathic cops who just coincidentally go full psychopath at this time and kick off the powder keg of riots. A powder keg in the collective psyche of the disgruntled masses that was already there, made worse recently by a lockdown that has seen people go hungry.

That powder keg is already there, there’s a lot of toxic and repressed emotions and energies in people. It doesn’t take much to light that powder keg in a species which has been beat down and lied to as much as ours have by the negative “powers that be”. Worldly powers, they’re not the highest powers in the universe yet they have control over human society and our easily predictable monkey brains.

Obviously the average human is fed up with this even if they don’t consciously realize it. Their soul is fed up with the corruption, with the lies, with the fleecing of humanity.

There is so much wounding, anger, rage, to tap into in the human collective.

I’m not saying that’s not already there. I’m saying what a strange time for the powder keg to be lit and riots to start.

Just as the country was looking to heal and get back on track after the terrible bumbling of the coronavirus lockdown by those with power and authority on this worldly level.

The human collective soul be like, “Can we just catch a breath? Can we just get a break from this constant insanity and chaos?”

Don’t ask that of the control obsessed negative forces and psychopaths because they feed off frustration and despair. It gives them power to see humanity crushed and reduced into easily controllable flickers of the great lights we all once were.

How can we heal, how can we move forward again? I don’t just mean socially or politically, these issues run much deeper than that. We’re all living the effects of that whether we recognize it or not.

How do we transmute the powder keg of wounding, frustration, anger, before it consumes us?

How do we move forward? How do we bridge a consonance with harmony and create a co-alignment with healing? With our own best selves collectively and individually? With a bright and expansive future so robust it can’t be disrupted off course by “random” acts of negativity on the world stage by selfish psychopaths from cops to congress?

How do we outgrow those negative actors and their influence on our collective reality?

How do we heal and step into a world consonant with our souls and highest potentials?

The destruction of culture is our fault

What’s destroying the progress, or even any unique markers, in human culture in America? Why is it stagnant? Is it all the fault of external factors like psychopaths ruining human institutions? Is it all the fault of unseen and quasi-mystical factors like aliens or demons? Is it all caused by deterministic fate in the material world?

Then again, maybe our egos are to blame. Maybe self indignation is to blame, everyone who gets worked up when their “side” or sports team is criticized.

This happens on social media all the time with politics. Someone will criticize the extreme political left/right for obvious destructive and absurd tendencies… Then some self righteous indignant asshole will take offense at that.

Our egos left in their base states, not kept in self-aware check or pushed to evolve, are very tribal. We identify and associate with sides/groups/banners/causes. When those banners are criticized, we too often get indignant.

We protect the worst and ugliest aspects of our “side” or our “group” rather than see the obvious flaws in these ugly elements. Rather than see how the extreme and ugly elements of our associated “side” is actually working against us!

We get indignant and defend the worst.

Now I’m not saying there aren’t forces of regression working against human culture and consciousness. Not saying they’re aren’t outright attacks against the positive elements of society-all aspects of it be it art, media, politics, business, religion and spirituality.

There are those attacks. With politics, there are attacks on the true spirit of liberalism and conservatism, which should upset us all.

Even if you’re a political liberal, and if you’re pro-human conscious and cultural growth, you should be as upset when the true spirit of conservatism is attacked as if the spirit of true liberalism is being attacked. You should be critical of the extreme absurd and ugly elements in the political left that only seek chaos and destruction.

The same goes for you if you’re politically conservative and vice versa.

The same goes for anything! If you work in an industry and you do your best to bring meaning to your work, to do your chosen path and industry justice… You should be able to call out and hold accountable those in your industry who are fakes and giving your industry a bad name. You shouldn’t be attacking the casual bystanders who criticize the fakes/ugliness in your industry. You should be calling those fakes out yourself because they bring down the integrity of everything!

Our egos are the strongest nodes in the destruction of human culture and civilization.

It’s our egos that fall into a tribal minded state, that associate/align with tribalism and one’s “side” that are fueling the destruction of civilization and the stagnation of culture.

It’s all about what we choose to align with in ourselves. Is it merely a “side”, a banner face of our favorite sports team?

Is it rather consciousness itself? Is it integrity regardless of the “side” or tribal association?

Our “tribe” should be the integrity of consciousness itself, it should be truth, it should be substance with meaning.

The second we snap to retaliate with indignant words against anyone and anything that challenges even the most superficial and fake aspects of our “side”, group, affiliation… is when we lose.

It’s one thing to defend against outright attack against something you invest your identity in and care about. It’s another to be so egotistically sensitive that you react against any perceived slight with indignation and by playing “devil’s advocate” for the worst of what or who you affiliate with.

It’s all about sense of honor. Where does our sense of honor reside? Is it for truth and integrity itself, to the extent that we strive to keep even ourselves in check? Is it for superficial egotism that simply turns into a rabid dog without self awareness when one’s “side” is questioned?

It’s not even about “sides”. When we are drawn to “this and that” we should be striving to do justice to and honor the integrity of “this and that”. If you believe in “this and that” then strive to live in a way that shows it, and understand that the other person’s “this and that” may not be your “this and that” yet is just as necessary in the wholeness of civilization.

Our “this and that” don’t have to be at war with each other like false dualities. False dualities and manufactured conflicts appeal to the lower ego. They appeal to our lower selves that want to indulge in tribalism and self destructive conflict.

Where is culture going? Go look at social media and all the people getting indignant because someone criticized the extreme ugliness/hypocrisy/corruption/negativity of their “side”. Culture is stagnant because its growth is being fought on many fronts. Not the least of which is us when we fight against positive/useful criticism and critical awareness of the corruption in our world (when the corruption happens to be on the “side” we identify with).

My goodness fellow waking egos, develop a better sense of self than that! Develop a true sense of individuality that doesn’t rely on gaining sense of identity from a sports team or politician.

The corrupt elements of any “side” or group are not anyone’s friend! Those corrupt elements are the true dissidents, only out for themselves and working against the integrity and cohesion of not just our “side” but of the whole. Of everyone, of culture itself.

Our own egos are the enemies when we refuse to see this and would rather make excuses and rationalizations for the corruption, because our egos take it personally when our “side” is questioned.

The unhealthy ego is so insecure it has no identity of its own, no foundation to stand on. All structures are built upon foundations. If we’re turning into a world that doesn’t have strong inner foundations, culture has nothing to stand on.

Another way to look at what is happening in our collective world is narcissism. Narcissists also have a strange superiority/inferiority complex where they (their “side”) can not be criticized because it is godly and perfect, yet the imperfections they can not deny are explained away with rationalizations (it’s never the narcissist’s fault when they do wrong).

Our increasing state of collective narcissism is our stagnation. Narcissism is to fight the flow of consciousness itself because it refuses to be questioned, challenged, or upset.

We only grow as sentient beings when we have the courage to question and challenge ourselves. So that our hearts, minds, and consciousnesses develop. Strong senses of self identity and independent thought.

Without that useful agitation we only find stagnation. Stagnation is what we fight for when we get indignant about the corruption of something we identify with getting brought to light.

The false self, the unhealthy and narcissistic ego fears and hates the light (of inner awakening, of consciousness, of truth). It will do everything to suppress that light except in the narrow spectrum where it is allowed to shine and be seen as godly. Narcissism is fundamentally a denial of the inner/true self, it is a running from the soul and “higher self” (which is also one’s future and highest evolved self).

The war against human culture and civilization begins within us. The destruction wins every time we capitulate to and feed the false self. The growth of consciousness and soul wins every time we choose the sobering light of self awareness. Sometimes that light is pangful, sometimes it’s blissful, it’s many different states of being and experience. It’s called truly being alive in the most fundamental ways, within.

The narcissist of course tries to mimic that liveliness with superficiality and extreme externalization however narcissism seeks death and numbing of the true self, and creates a culture of death.

The spirited person seeks a spirited awareness, to truly be alive. The courageous heart will refuse to shy away from challenges risen up with the light of self awareness, even when the ego itself is challenged because they know the ego is not the inner self. The ego can be built in healthy or unhealthy way.

If we want to see human culture and civilization thrive we all have a responsibility that begins within. It begins not with “doing” anything, rather with realizing where these battles fundamentally begin and always striving to remember.

It’s easy to get swept up in the winds of mainstream media, social media, and other influences over collective (un)consciousness. It’s easy to fall into narcissism, tribalism, and other traps of the lower self. We have to remember that’s not where our true selves reside. Our true selves do not reside in the media’s slant on reality. Our true selves were not born and created by the group or tribe.

We need to remember to have pride in ourselves. The group or “side” you chose did not suffer with you through your most trying personal challenges. It did not love you and care for you… If you’re a survivor it means that YOU did the work. You owe nothing to any group or “side” or external monstrosity of an institution or mindless collective phenomenon.

Ie. and since the “Avengers” movie is so popular now. Telling people they should like that comic book movie because it made a lot of money is sycophantic without any pride in oneself. I’ve seen responses like that a lot to any dislike of mainstream phenomenons. You don’t have to be harshly critical of something the herd currently favors above its own livelihood and existence, simply not going along with it will get weird defensive reactions from the mindless shells in it.

We must remember that anyone can wake up. We are not the brands/labels we wear, we are not our political “sides”, we are not the groups and cliques our egos associate with.

Some people have more work to do than others in waking up and reversing the force of narcissism which fights the natural flow and growth of self awareness. Of consciousness. Of the soul.

The work begins within.

Candida Auris, Paul Stamets, and Balance vs. Imbalance

The issue here is a much bigger one than the scare of the week, and we all can learn from it.

It’s a very simple issue with exponential implications.

Now we can certainly point out on this planet how microbes are carelessly misused, treated, and even used in a destructive way in weaponry. This carelessness would include the over use of anti-microbial drugs. This would all fall under the umbrella of a negative relationship with said microbes.

Then there’s some like Paul Stamets , who has a much more positive and conscious relationship with fungus.

If anything destroys us it will be our negative/darkened awareness/ignorant relationship with ourselves and the world around us. If anything saves us it will be developing a healthier, more conscious and whole minded, relationship with ourselves and world.

Call it a whole minded, soul integrated approach to reality vs. a psychopathic, false narcissistic self serving, fractured approach.

Unfortunately the psychopaths are winning and infecting the rest of the human race with their dysfunctional mind. Which is fractured and unable to see other perspectives-the full range of consciousness, and extremely destructive.

This is seen in modern political social diatribe. People are turning into tribal minded primitives out to get the other side of the false divide. We’re taught to divide ourselves in of ourselves. To harbor negative/hateful/fearful relationships in of ourselves with any and all aspects of our own beings and the world around us.

The unhealthy ego loves it because it gains a sense of individuality from this self fracturing and limiting. Individuality gained through the negative mind and reduction of consciousness. Through self limitation.

There’s a lot to learn from communal entities like fungi. Certainly the times are so crazy that even using a word like “communal” and pointing to the communal relationship of another organism, merely to study, will trigger the political left/right paradigm in some. Surely this post must be promoting communism… I’ve seen insane leaps of ill-logic made by the political left/right over less.

If your mind isn’t colonized by that bullshit and you aren’t triggered by words, then you should know there is a world out there, in nature, waiting to teach you about… itself, yourself.

It’s very important to study how nature works and maintains its balance. There’s nothing more dangerous, not even what the gloomiest conspiracy theory can conjure, than a human ego that is like an alien unto itself. The person disconnected from their own beingness stirs all manner of destruction and suffering. They will do it believing that what they’re doing is righteous (subjective thinking allows us to believe anything is good, right or wrong). That they have to save us from our souls, our stability and be as lost and fractured as they are.

The virulent psychopath is like a virulent strain of bacteria that has gotten out of control and imbalances the ecosystem. We’re so collectively and spiritually asleep, lethargic, disconnected from our true selves that this imbalance has taken place.

The thing is it’s not really anyone’s fault. We’re conditioned to be this way, our ancestors were conditioned. The only hope we have is getting in touch with ourselves, back down to our better senses again.

That’s why developing a healthy, positive, accepting-embracing rather than negative and negating relationship with nature is important. It’s not just about nature and whatever it is you’re studying and meditating on. It’s about re-training your mind toward a positive relationship with yourself, with others, with creation. One that allows expansion of consciousness and growth of soul. Not the bolstering of the false self and materialism at the cost of soul and consciousness.

Happy Love Day

True Love & Toxic Love: 14 Core Differences

In honor of the day and love that uplifts, heals, and frees the heart.

I was going to write something romantic, but there’s plenty of romantic sentiment elsewhere today.

Awareness is supreme and to be able to really let go and play in a relationship we need awareness. We need understanding and trust.

We often learn the hard way how important those things are though, even if we already know what they are.

Those with hearts often serve as prey to toxic people and behaviors. Always taking it on like we have to for some reason. Rationalizing the mistreatment in some way out of misplaced empathy and wishful thinking.

The ideal love we think we have is shattered by slights and abuses that we don’t even recognize until it’s too late. Maybe we try to hold on to the person who is hurtful and situation that devalues us.

You can’t love a parasite in your body away nor can you love a toxic person, a narcissist, to change. It just feeds and enables them.

So fuck them.

I don’t believe in moral ambiguity when it’s about how human beings should treat each other. This is the simplest and least ambiguous thing there is.

Some people would say that these aren’t positive wishy washy words for the holiday, and I’d say that’s exactly what a toxic person would say. If we see no evil and speak no evil we can’t see their behavior and point them out.

So protect thyself with awareness.

Love can still (always) be experienced. From a different perspective, maybe a weary if not wiser perspective, it can be had though.

The bad experiences take us into the dark, they block us off from real love and try to isolate us. Love is always there though, it doesn’t go anywhere. We can always find it again. It’s found deep within if you can survive your own scars, pain, and sadness.

People who haven’t really been hurt tend to recycle the same old rhetoric that you’ll find love again and it will make everything right. That puts the focus outside the self though, it continues the problem that lead to the hurt first place. It makes it someone else’s responsibility.

And what of the time in between meeting someone else and being alone? Who’s to say that you do meet someone else? Not trying to be a downer as there is a great possibility we will meet someone else yet there’s no guarantees. So you have to get to know yourself, make a friend with yourself. Know your heart and body.

There are no guarantees but we can increase our chances of encountering love again by getting to know ourselves. Healing ourselves. Knowing what we love and what we’re about, tends to attract the same. That’s when we’re most magical, that’s when we meet love when we least expect it but it’s not even the universe’s power that delivers the new experiences. It’s our own. It’s how much we know and love ourselves, and draw others to us who are compatible with our self love.

I think, and this is my experience, what makes everything alright is knowledge. It’s processing what happened and coming out more aware and stronger from it.

Fuck the toxic and abusive people. I don’t mean that spitefully. I mean, they don’t deserve thought or energy. If they’ve hurt us they’ve already taken enough from us.

What is normally a virtue and strength in a healthy relationship, a toxic person will exploit as a weakness and use against us. Especially empathy and the desire for things to be better than they really are.

Empathy and openness make a healthy relationship incredibly strong, but in a toxic relationship they are exploited and leave you feeling exploited and bad about yourself.

A healthy relationship should build us up though. It should honor and exalt our hearts and humanity, not exploit them. The first relationship we have is with ourselves.

There is often little we can do to control how others treat us if they don’t care to care how they treat us. We have all the control in how we treat ourselves and that relationship though.

I could write volumes about the toxic and hurtful experiences I’ve been through, and how I’ve been used at times of vulnerability and naivety. The answer is the same though no matter who we are and what we’ve been through. The only thing that makes it right is the healing we do within. The knowledge and awareness we give to ourselves.

It puts us in a position to love and be loved as a whole not a half. Two wholes make a stronger relationship, like interlocking rings. How do they interlock if they are whole? That’s the magic of real love. Its bonds are powerful and yet it is completely freeing and uplifting.

Truth is Offensive

Truth is offensive.

It always has been. I guess ever since there has been an “ego”.

This truth has merely been politicized (and weaponized against the common mind) in modern day. That truth is offensive. So the ego becomes its own autoimmune disease against its own consciousness and chances at growth out of the darkness.

Embrace truth. Embrace self honesty. Face your own mirror. Be brave to see through the bias that you hold about the world around you.

Tear the circus down because it’s not providing you with useful content or even entertainment. It’s a parasite that is feeding off of you. You are its battery and it has no love or respect for you. We’re all resources for it to exploit. So clowns of every shady shade can dance on stage while we suffer for scraps.

This isn’t about calling others out and poking holes in others’ arguments for a myopic and brief hit of egotism over the other guy. This is about having the courage to see the blind spots and holes in your own view. To undress your own hypocrisy. As difficult as it is.

It’s better to learn to sustain on boring offensive truth than the unsustainable fast food. The fast food that makes us feel good as it makes us feel like shit, but we push that discomfort deep down. Our aversion to the fast food is our guardian yet we push it down to put on a face and go along with the crowd.

No one has to follow the crowd off the cliff. It may have a strong momentum but going within is a stronger grounding.

Embrace truth because it’s the only way to survive. The body needs proper nutrients and the consciousness needs real light and truth.

The Test of Consciousness is…

The worst human folly is the refusal to face one’s dark side. There is no arguing this fact, only avoidance of it. That dark side always becomes someone else’s problem until it is faced. Our fucked up world will praise you if you can find ways to project your garbage on to others and get away with it. Example – those who run the world.

The false duality of “us vs them” in our mind controlled world exists largely upon the impetus to seek and make straw-men and scapegoats.

There is a great vacuum in many. Where there should be inward looking there is lashing out. Where there should be self-house cleaning and scrutiny of one’s sacred cows/beliefs/biases/associations/leaders/champions there is projection and flinging of mud.

Everyone has a sad story about how they are a victim. Yet too many people are victims eager to become bullies and abusers. This secret impulse runs unchecked because it stems from the shadow and blind spots. Far too many seek to win the game of dominance-over-others (and unconsciously appoint authority figures to be their champion enforcers), instead of working to win the game of self mastery and consciousness within.

Far too many are secretly eager in their shadows, in self absorption; emboldened in ego, to rationalize, to champion selfishness. The less we develop the discipline to face and handle our shadows the more we become lax in letting our shadows and dark sides take over.

One can not consider their self truly conscious until they realize the hypocrisy in that. Even the biggest politicians, celebrities, religious leaders, even rocket scientists are not truly CONSCIOUS if they have not realized the hypocrisy in that… and done something about it in their selves and in their own lives.

We are not truly conscious or intelligent until we realize this.

Real consciousness is born in many moments of self humility, of not knowing the answers, even in scary shaky moments, even shocks to the system that all bring self awareness. It’s just the true self’s way of telling the ego to come back home to center. Breaking it down. What is disillusioned, may be replaced with true substance and authentic character.

Although, I have a harsh attitude toward bullshit. The way I see it, one hasn’t been through enough if they haven’t learned this lesson yet. The lesson where humility and wisdom begin.

No one is on the path until they’ve been cracked open by a few shocks and fallen to their knees for the path. Humbly opened up to the path and hungrily sought love and enlightenment with the screaming core of their being.

Wakeful consciousness begins where a humbling realization of one’s hypocrisy begins… which is where the ego in a false sense begins to end. One can accept and can be hungry for this kind of “death”, or go to sleep and wait for physical literal pains and nights to befall them.

Political Correctness, Spiritual Uncorrectness

It’s everywhere, but I’m not a right side winger, they have ego children issues too. I don’t prescribe to the dualistic ideology traps meant to arrest the masses in endless self destruction. You shouldn’t either. Just because the world writes you a prescription for something doesn’t mean you have to take it.

Political correctness condescends and patronizes. Let’s celebrate diversity by pretending it doesn’t exist, and lets celebrate differences by attacking those who think differently than us? Political correctness is the leftist extreme to the rightist extreme of stereotypical racism and sexism. Bigotry is bigotry. It’s the same thing in a new socially acceptable package. Can you smell the hypocrisy?

It doesn’t speak to the adult in people. It speaks to the egotistic child. It’s like feeding a child candy and video games their entire childhood and never setting any structure. The child may hate the rules but the adult in them understands. The adult in them appreciates being seen as capable of the responsibility.

Bringing out and sensitizing the egotistic child in people is not going to make a world of understanding and acceptance of the diversity of life. It festers conflict because the egotistic child within us operates in duality and thrives in conflict, not higher thought.

So then the person who is right and superior becomes the one who can cut down the other side of the argument better. The one who is more smarmy. The one who is more brutal. The one who can “bring it” and shame the other side best, regardless of one’s own authenticity and argument.

Then you get a hypocritical hydra puddle of people attacking people because they feel they’re persecuted and in the right. Everyone is a victim, which they believe gives them the right to strike out against everyone else.

I think if you’re smart and have self respect you’ll tune out any “leader”, any media figure, any influence who aims to sensitize the ego child in you and polarize you AGAINST someone or something.

Such is the game of senseless conflict, wasted energy, and darkness. In the end only the darkness wins.

Our only power over the darkness is consciousness and compassion.

but if people want to tear themselves up and be willing sacrifices to the darkness… I’d say send me a postcard, but not much escapes a black hole.