Category Archives: liberation

Happy Love Day

True Love & Toxic Love: 14 Core Differences

In honor of the day and love that uplifts, heals, and frees the heart.

I was going to write something romantic, but there’s plenty of romantic sentiment elsewhere today.

Awareness is supreme and to be able to really let go and play in a relationship we need awareness. We need understanding and trust.

We often learn the hard way how important those things are though, even if we already know what they are.

Those with hearts often serve as prey to toxic people and behaviors. Always taking it on like we have to for some reason. Rationalizing the mistreatment in some way out of misplaced empathy and wishful thinking.

The ideal love we think we have is shattered by slights and abuses that we don’t even recognize until it’s too late. Maybe we try to hold on to the person who is hurtful and situation that devalues us.

You can’t love a parasite in your body away nor can you love a toxic person, a narcissist, to change. It just feeds and enables them.

So fuck them.

I don’t believe in moral ambiguity when it’s about how human beings should treat each other. This is the simplest and least ambiguous thing there is.

Some people would say that these aren’t positive wishy washy words for the holiday, and I’d say that’s exactly what a toxic person would say. If we see no evil and speak no evil we can’t see their behavior and point them out.

So protect thyself with awareness.

Love can still (always) be experienced. From a different perspective, maybe a weary if not wiser perspective, it can be had though.

The bad experiences take us into the dark, they block us off from real love and try to isolate us. Love is always there though, it doesn’t go anywhere. We can always find it again. It’s found deep within if you can survive your own scars, pain, and sadness.

People who haven’t really been hurt tend to recycle the same old rhetoric that you’ll find love again and it will make everything right. That puts the focus outside the self though, it continues the problem that lead to the hurt first place. It makes it someone else’s responsibility.

And what of the time in between meeting someone else and being alone? Who’s to say that you do meet someone else? Not trying to be a downer as there is a great possibility we will meet someone else yet there’s no guarantees. So you have to get to know yourself, make a friend with yourself. Know your heart and body.

There are no guarantees but we can increase our chances of encountering love again by getting to know ourselves. Healing ourselves. Knowing what we love and what we’re about, tends to attract the same. That’s when we’re most magical, that’s when we meet love when we least expect it but it’s not even the universe’s power that delivers the new experiences. It’s our own. It’s how much we know and love ourselves, and draw others to us who are compatible with our self love.

I think, and this is my experience, what makes everything alright is knowledge. It’s processing what happened and coming out more aware and stronger from it.

Fuck the toxic and abusive people. I don’t mean that spitefully. I mean, they don’t deserve thought or energy. If they’ve hurt us they’ve already taken enough from us.

What is normally a virtue and strength in a healthy relationship, a toxic person will exploit as a weakness and use against us. Especially empathy and the desire for things to be better than they really are.

Empathy and openness make a healthy relationship incredibly strong, but in a toxic relationship they are exploited and leave you feeling exploited and bad about yourself.

A healthy relationship should build us up though. It should honor and exalt our hearts and humanity, not exploit them. The first relationship we have is with ourselves.

There is often little we can do to control how others treat us if they don’t care to care how they treat us. We have all the control in how we treat ourselves and that relationship though.

I could write volumes about the toxic and hurtful experiences I’ve been through, and how I’ve been used at times of vulnerability and naivety. The answer is the same though no matter who we are and what we’ve been through. The only thing that makes it right is the healing we do within. The knowledge and awareness we give to ourselves.

It puts us in a position to love and be loved as a whole not a half. Two wholes make a stronger relationship, like interlocking rings. How do they interlock if they are whole? That’s the magic of real love. Its bonds are powerful and yet it is completely freeing and uplifting.

Glitch The Matrix

Fun trick for causing glitches in the matrix (and peoples’ brains) – next time someone starts talking pity party gossip about something totally unrelated to them, like celebrity drama… Say “Hey, so when’s the last time you gave that elderly relative of yours a call?” Or what about that friend who is struggling? I heard their friend is fighting depression or is struggling to feed their self.

Do this often because false engagement of emotion is disgusting. We’re not working our hearts and developing our soul muscles by droning on about gossip in the news! You don’t grow muscles by wading in the kiddy pool (which is full of urine)! We need to work our hearts and souls regularly to truly be alive.

We’re disgusting and we need to be shaken up regularly so we don’t get lulled into the spell that the media casts.

We’re disgusting but we’re not bad. We’re fundamentally good but we’re trained badly like abused dogs by this world. This is no one’s fault but it needs to change.

We worship celebrities and those “above” us. Yet we tell our friends and family members to pick themselves up by their bootstraps. We tell each other that if you work really hard you can be rich and famous too. We tell each other lies that we know deep down are bullshit. We ought to be reaching out to each other, caring and helping.

Most people are NOT engaged in reality. Their minds are caught in a daze. They’re off pursuing riches and fame but 99% of people are never going to attain riches and fame. They could be investing in each other instead of new cars and tvs. Most will not realize their mistake until the end of their lives when they must let go of their material things.

That is sad. We must wish better for each other than this and this is why we must glitch up the droning matrix as much as we can. It’s not that most people are bad. They’re caught in a daze and have been raised wrongly by the world.

They gone done need to be woken up before it’s too late! Throw a wrench in when they’re droning meaningless gossip. Glitch the hell out of the matrix and glitch it often.

Acceptance, All Of The Sudden

and all the sudden, as if crept up on you, acceptance becomes an imperative, a burden, another requirement to live up to. You must accept *this*. You must accept your pain, your fear, the way things are or have been. You must forgive. You must let go. You must, because it’s become a moral imperative. An unforgiving condemnation.

So the release comes not in acceptance. It comes in accepting that there are some things you can’t or won’t accept, and that’s ok.

Then you’ve met the heart of acceptance, not the ego pretending to practice it. Not the peer definition. Not the punishing imperative. But the real heart of it.

The Deepest Temptation

If you want to know why the world is fucked up and why “despite all my rage I’m still just a rat in a cage”, read this.
Then follow up with this as an example of the problem.

It should be noted that the dogmatic assholes who level accusations of moral failing, sin and karma against addicts or anyone in a destitute situation are (consciously or not) part of or serving the evil they claim to be fighting.

They’re part of a destructive system that plays games against humanity. A system that trips humanity up and gets people to feel guilty about themselves for being human. These forces do not want a harmonious world. They want chaos and suffering. They know that the rats are going to go for the drugged water if the cage is made toxic and isolating.

The nature of true evil is not a moral failing or fairy tale figure with horns and a tail. The nature of true evil is something incredibly anti-human (anti-life, anti-matter, anti-spirit). It has no point of reference in the human world and known universe other than maybe the deepest and staunchest clingings on to the force of denial. Denial against freedom, beingness, and the very natural and spontaneous flow of creation itself.

Evil is what has created our culture and is everywhere in society where natural humanity is shamed and natural connection and bonding between warm blooded creatures is shunned.

Some call this evil “patriarchy”, and the negative male ego is very much part of it. The negative male ego, with its desire for power and control, is sort of evil’s prison bitch. The negative male will readily sell out his soul if he thinks he’s going to get a power or ego fix from it. Many men habitually exist in this state of soullessness because it’s been woven into society and the collective mind to think and act in such ways.

Despite how many men (and women) have sold out for power, for money, for fancy suits and cars, and to own the feminine* the source of evil is not humanity. It is something very not human. Something akin to the machines in the Matrix movies. Something that does not understand humanity and its needs at all, something with a sadistic apathy toward it.

*At least the material expression of the feminine (and human soul), as the highest heavens elude those who operate in control and malignant aggression… in crude terms one can not rape their way into the highest gateways of the Mother. Doorways only open for honest hearts and spirits that grasp compassion. “Heaven” never kicked us out, we strayed from it. We kick ourselves out and close the door further with every unhuman act. Love is eternal however, and the arms of love reach out and cry as we stray into unnatural, unhuman territory. Only unnatural patriarchal gods seek to judge (with their limited sight) and punish. Truly, the truest eternal power cries out quietly for us and reminds us that we can turn away form our self betraying unhuman ways at any time and come back to our humanity and souls.

This is the truest temptation of the Mother force, the feminine expression, that unhuman religions and autistic masculine minds demonize and fear.

It’s basic touch itself, even the recognition of our own beingness in our own warm bodies, that these unhuman forces seek to separate us from and have developed entire mind infecting paradigms of polarization and terror against.

It is that basic need that tempts us in our deepest souls to reunite with. Love is what nourished our souls and made any of us what we are today. It is sad how far we’ve strayed.

I can hear the universe crying for us, can you?

The Living Paradox

yin yang

Reminder: The only true way forward is to see the good in all things and all sides. It’s only in an additive state of mind and embracing heart that we can truly make progress individually and collectively.

The stunted mind sees contradiction and tries to correct this through the impossible act of eliminating the opposing “side”. The healthy mind embraces paradox.

At the end of the day we’re all comprised of paradoxes that according to science and religion shouldn’t exist. The establishments of the world hate that we exist because not even the squarest peg fits perfectly.

Find beauty in all your rough edges and reconcile your paradoxes. At the end of the day we’re all much more than the roles and controls that this world has put on us.

If you remember this you have begun the journey of remembering everything.

We’ll all become living paradoxes again once we awaken from the slumber of dead contradictions.


Wake Up

When you’re in a situation you know is bad, is skewed, is corrupt why would you defend it? Why would you shut the blinds on the light and hide deeper in a rotted space?

That’s what boggles the mind in regard to politics. Every time someone happens along with genuinely positive, innovative or new ideas they get relentlessly questioned and attacked. Only if they seem genuine though. Those who present false positives and false hope seem to get free passes (at least until the majority wakes up).

Those part of the “system” are not nearly tested as much as those who haven’t sold their souls yet. In fact their faults, weaknesses and even transgressions are glossed over. It’s a self defeating way to view the world.

I could be talking politics here but the central themes I address can be applied in many ways. Gears in the machine that go along with the flow of the machine cause no sparks. Ironically, sometimes the machine has been so twisted toward dissonance, stagnation and theft of energy that “normal” running for it is full of sparks and squeaks. Not meaningful and symphonic notes mind you. Insentient noise without rhyme or reason.

It’s not easy to wake up but it’s a lot worse to avoid waking up.

Maybe we can wake up though, collectively, the majority of us, maybe. We have to overcome our fear to leave the cave though.

Feline Teachers

Those are some playful cats! I bet there’s a part of your soul that wishes it could jump in that pile and roll around, even if your brain is telling you it would be dangerous. It probably would be dangerous unless you were really grounded and good at talking with animals.

They are magnificent though. Feline energy is a powerful force on this Earth. It’s fierce yet very in touch with the heart. It’s independent yet affectionate.

Why can’t we all get along like this?

Maybe because a lot of people’s consciousness is held in/run by their reptilian brains not their limbic brains? Maybe every shock and trauma in the world upon the masses, repeated in the media… maybe because the way we are raised in our modern world strips away self identity, self reliance and self security.

If you pay attention to the world out there you’ve probably noticed how dark it is. It’s almost as if human consciousness is racing backwards. People work themselves to the ground for material things. People fight, manipulate and kill each other for basic security. People believe in “the dream” and look up to leaders who are more cut throat than they are.

Buttons are easily pushed, triggers are easily triggered. Egos salivate at the mouth to speak without listening. Every news story presents an opportunity to exercise dualistic “black vs. white” thinking. We’re divided in of ourselves and have become petty minded like walking piles of conflict and division. You might say we are losing both spirit and soul.

The limbic/monkey brain is higher than the reptilian brain yet it’s still the animal brain and we have a difficult time connecting with it. We’re being reduced to machines. Many people believe that you aren’t successful unless you are making a certain amount of money, have a certain size house or aren’t famous. Success is too little judged by walking one’s self authentic path, the development of self awareness, by virtue of deeds done, by what brings joy and growth to the individual or what contributes something constructive to society. Often success is judged by how much shiny empty nothingness one can attain while destroying as much of their self and others as possible.

This has lead us to a collective state of ennui and emptiness. Without true fulfillment of the spirit and soul our souls are starving, driving us to become more cold and mechanical. Especially since in our modern rat race many people idealize the snake/eagle “alpha” predator prototype, for reasons including emulation of psychopaths (power and material wealth at any cost) and ancient patterns repeating in human hosts (having to do with a disconnection from the heart in favor of material based intellect). See: the eagle and the condor

We as a species greatly see power in cold blooded viciousness and manipulation. We need to remember that there is power in warm blooded playfulness and empathy. One is a spiritual path that leads to growth and expansion, one is an anti-spiritual path that leads to a reduction and loss of spirit. We live in times where many peoples’ spirits are asleep or they’re willfully denying their spirits-the massive amount of self revelation and worldly truth that their awakening spirits would shine upon for their tenacious egos to cope with.

The spirit thrives in unfettered playfulness and honesty. Both allow the inner fire within us to come alive, to come out and to expand in creative ways. In our world we face much resistance against the inner fire. It is repressed and traumatized (beginning with male circumcision, also before birth), and comes out in warped and destructive ways. We are the elves from Lord of the Rings that are being perverted into orcs.

The feline is again a very potent teacher both in real life and symbolically, especially where human consciousness is currently stuck at. Animals can be greatly helpful to us in our struggle. Especially those playful cats that call out to the primordial parts of our Earthly souls. It’s very important to connect with the playful parts of ourselves, which also of course connect us with our inner children and the mother. The literal mother, mother Earth, the universal Mother and the feminine energy of animation and regeneration.

The feline manages to pull off the top predator thing whilst being warm blooded/playful/cuddly/loving too. They also rough around without hurting each other. Those big furry predators can teach us a lot about warmth and affection, about independence and boundaries, even self reliance as they leap into and walk branches with ease. There are many reminders we can gain from cats besides that they are cute and fun to watch! They make you want to go play in the grass until you collapse in a warm cuddly pile.

Felines (also canines-which are from wolves, another animal that knows how to play and show warmth) show more empathy than some people! This doesn’t mean that animals are more compassionate than people. It means that human beings have been reduced in spirit and heart. It means that we can awaken again if we heed spirit, warmth and courage.

Maybe these animals can help us all remember something that human souls often lack in our vain/hyper idealized soundbites/colorful shiny touch screen world. Something to do with the warmth and genuineness of being. Maybe just remember that we’re human beings and that there is no pain, fear or stress that has the power to strip our beingness from us or scare us away from being.

We spend enough time in the dead and dark parts of our minds already. What about the spirit, what about the living breathe within each being, within each moment?

Then again this is speculation, maybe I read too much into cats and cuddling *smile face*

Be Offensive

The most offensive thing you can do to others is believe in them.

You’re gonna clash with their self imposed limitations.

The most dangerous thing you can do is believe in others.

You’re gonna clash with the tribe, its traditions and mental rulers (religion, education, family, the unconscious unconscious mind).

The most powerful thing you can do is believe in yourself.

It shows others that it’s possible.


To Take Advantage For We Or For Me

One of the hardest truths for the empathic soul to reconcile is that people take advantage of each other in this world.

Everyone is at their own level of consciousness and strengths, motivated by their own drives, exercising their own free will. The elimination of free will would be a step backward in the complexity of our evolution as conscious beings.

We must learn to accept our freedom and the power with it because in doing so we come to the next step, which is the next question we must all ask ourselves when taking advantage.

Are we taking advantage in a way that advantages others or disadvantages them?

Are you sure? Ask yourself again. Are you really sure? Ask yourself again. Do you want the best for them, whatever it is? How can you know what that is?

Are you thinking with your ego or your empathy?

It’s a responsibility only we ourselves can take.

This question when asked deeply, honestly, soberly and completely is free will’s saving grace.

Can we take advantage while helping and even directly co-enabling the advantage of others?

With this question we can step into an additive, embracing, expansive reality and away from a subtractive, diminishing, schism-creating reality.

You have great dreams, but do you include-with love and good spirit-others in your dreams?

Penetration emanations


Penetration is everything. When you’re healthy and involved in life, you penetrate life. When you’re sick, afraid, etc, you don’t penetrate life and become distant and wither. It’s as much about bravery as it is strength. Plenty of people have the strength but squander it, they don’t have the bravery or interest.

So, this idea can be looked at sexually and it can be looked at from a more fundamental level.

The sexual is of course enjoyable to play with, and I wish more women understood that they need to be penetrating too (and the responsibilities that go with that). For a conscious man it comes naturally to know that one need bring a positive, loving, passionate, uplifting energy into his “penetration”. He knows that his energy must be positive and healthy, and he must create a balance with his rawness and stability. He’s gotta bring the right music to tune into his partner. Most women don’t want toxic, violent energies brought into their sacred spaces.

There’s a lot that needs to go into mastering our positive, forward moving energies in a conscious way. It’s great to be around those who have done so, it’s even better to be with romantic partners who have whether you’re a woman or man. Penetration takes place at any time in a relationship, it doesn’t begin and end with sexual intercourse. It’s every moment you touch their psyche and heart, and they touch yours. A fucking simple embrace can be orgasmic if done right.

I agree with the above links that for women, in general, to realize that they too penetrate their partners they must see themselves not as victims or strictly as receivers but as empowered and active forces as well. I’d like to see more women embody and own the power of their yang energies, their penetrating energies too. It’d be great if more women did that. They already do to mild extents, anytime we’re with someone our energies are going to mix, but you have to be conscious of something to fully embody and utilize it.

It feels amazing for either sex when someone (consensual of course) penetrates you with their raw, passionate, living, loving, powerful, beautiful energy. The genuine focus of real penetration is not selfish! It is to focus on your partner and getting to know them. It’s to share yourself with your partner as you come to know them. Look past the common stigmas of the word “penetration” – ie. it implies destructiveness or has to do with wanting to control or rape someone. That’s not true penetration. True penetration is giving and selfless. In a partnership dynamic, it seeks to reach the other person. Narcissism could give a care less about reaching and touching the other because it’s too involved with itself.

How many times have you gazed deeply and meaningfully into the eyes of your partner during lovemaking? How many times have you shown genuine care and interest in their souls? Lovemaking is the one time we should be striving to be most intimately open and penetrating. It might take practice and conscious effort to bring that depth of touch to other interactions with a partner but lovemaking provides the biggest incentive… because it’s lovemaking…

I’m for women learning the power of penetration and how they penetrate too because it’s necessary. I say that as a man who has experienced being extremely detached from his feelings and emotions, and whose learned to be penetrating in of himself. So extremely in touch as well. I know the pain many men suffer that they don’t know they’re suffering because they don’t know any differently. We can of course learn to penetrate ourselves, to get to know our own hearts and minds but I don’t think it’s either a completely independent journey or completely one in which a partner is relied upon. I think it’s both and we need to be strong and honest enough with ourselves to admit when we’re ready and need to take each step. Intimacy is not an easy journey to take but it is rewarding.Many a man becomes a bitter and angry man because he loses touch with the engagement of life in himself and no women are seeking to provide that for him. They’re not thinking about how they can offer their unique penetrating energy and yang force but if you’re a woman and have a partner or partners you should be because it’s one of the best things you can offer.

Deep down most men are afraid of their feelings and feel miniscule inside. They’re in a world that belittles them. Western culture is terrible toward manhood. People use the excuse of the worst examples of men to perpetuate that hate, unfortunately people don’t see that tearing down one side has dire consequences upon the other. Yet men also crave what women crave. Many men don’t know how to feel and connect with their passion and energy though. Good partners can open many windows for us.

If you’re a woman you probably know the joy that a man can offer you by being strong, focused, penetrating with this masculine energy. Well we all have yang energy and to bring it lovingly and passionately to a partner, to penetrate and entice them, to surround and arouse them with it is again one of the best things one can offer to a partner.

Most strong men don’t dream of helpless victims. They want women who are strong in their own rights. Women who can stand side by side with them, to share in intimacy with someone of equal passion and power. Anything less is draining. A smart man will seek women who renews his masculine energy. A smart man will stay away from a woman who saps his yang energy, usually because the woman has an unhealthy relationship with her own or a debt in herself that she needs to feed off of the man for. This is not unlike how abusive men steal feminine energy from women which can leave the most beautiful and loving women feeling ugly and empty. When we learn to stand in our inner power we learn to renew ourselves and cherish our energies, we learn to renew each other… Speaking of cherishing our partner’s energies and what they penetrate and surround us with (every drop), well, that’s a blog for another time!

Perhaps one of the greatest responsibilities we have as sexual, creative, energetic beings is that of learning and wielding our strengths. We might all have different kinds of strength but need stand in our strengths. No one who stands in their strength is a helpless victim. To share our strengths, our penetrating and encompassing energies, our desires to do something uplifting and enjoyable for our partners is not just about doing something for your partner. It’s something that is going to repay you by elevating the overall joy and passion that you share with your partner. For men and women. It takes a deeper sight to see this. Shortsightedness and pettiness will defeat anyone. What we do today will be what stands or crumbles tomorrow.

Remember that we all want to be penetrated. We all need to be shown the light, so to speak. We crave it, we yearn for it. We need to be touched by loving energy, and through its flow we find a way. Through the deepest chasms of our closed off desires and locked hearts. We find a breath, we find the light within. We find our own aroused expressions. To be touched is to know how to be touched, is to touch and teach someone how to touch.

When it comes to literal penetration, sex and romantic love we have a responsibility. If we’re going to fuck each other we should fully and thoroughly penetrate each other. It feels great, but it is a responsibility too. If we can’t handle the responsibility we shouldn’t fucking be fucking playing around with fucking.

When it comes to penetration there is no half way. There is all the way or nothing, part way  or an illusion is still nothing. This goes for going solo-plunging into and getting to know thyself, as well as romantic and sexual partnerships. Go full or go away. Do or do not, there is no try.

We all like it when someone takes the time and makes the effort to know and penetrate us, and open the doorways of life, love and light within us. We all enjoy that and it does everyone well.

If not you’ll die in there, in the small meek place in yourself. The unpenetrated place that you’ve not plunged and opened up and exhaled to the world yet, that hasn’t been penetrated yet. We die without contact with that loving light. We need life to touch us deeply, it’s the only way to touch life.

So let’s shake off the stifling one dimensional gender roles, or the idea that if a woman penetrates a man it’s gotta be with a dildo (because as robots of the internet age everything has to be literal). That’ll help bring some light in the context of sex and romantic love.

Bring on the empowered women who own their strength and energy, and know how to use it as much as men are expected to be masters of their cocks. Empowered women are a joy to behold. They can be rarer than a man whose learned his own yang energy, but the empowered woman who knows how to emanate and penetrate with her love and beauty is truly a wonder. I’m not talking about women who want to supplant men (they’re just as astray as men who bank on technology to compete with and replace women). We don’t need to compete with each other to each embody the emanation of our strengths. We each bring it forward in a different way. Learning to do so is to become comfortable with ourselves. To become comfortable with the strength we bring to life, not just to other people, is the first and most important step.

It doesn’t matter how weak, meek or like a victim anyone feels. Anyone can learn to become comfortable with their strength, their force of yang, and express it. Of course doing so in sexual play is a most enjoyable way. There’s satisfaction gained in knowing that you’ve proactively made someone smile. You weren’t just there in the flesh of thrusting firmness or rippling body parts. You are a leader at the forefront of the raw drenched orgasmic waves. Surfing the ecstasy.

Man or woman, we all seek partners who are self aware and empowered. Eventually, we have to wade through our distractions first. Our fallings for those who are simply good looking or have some hot button quality… but we’re not really dealing with the full force of self awareness and strength with them. When that power awakens within us we’ll only truly be satiated when we find it around us and in our important relationships.

Empowerment seeks empowerment (or inpowerment). Empowerment reinforces empowerment and sets it free.

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