Category Archives: love and integrity

Be Hardcore

Be hardcore mofos! Be fucking hardcore.

Don’t be a fake because it doesn’t matter. The bullshit image you create, the face you save… the “stuff” you own that ends up owning you… it doesn’t matter. It’s all fucking bullshit.

We’re immersed in this fake culture that worships hollow narcissism. It’s a cult of image and personality out there. The world is full of actors who wouldn’t know “real” if it hit them over the head. People don’t care what power and strength, or heart and virtue are anymore. They just want the fucking idea of it! The reality scares the shit out of them.

The image is paper thin and weak as a wet bag (despite that the idiots stuck in it can’t seem to get out of it). It’s not gonna build a good bed for any of us at night. It leaves many people forlorn. Idiots don’t learn.

The only fucking thing that matters in the big bad world, and to a larger extent the universe, is the character that you create. It’s your deeds and your actions. Whether we’re honest with ourselves or not, everything is etched somewhere.

Be fucking hardcore. In whatever ways you need to be. Raise your GPA, start a website, or run that 5 miles without losing your breath. I want to see you succeed but only you can know what that means for you.

Don’t be a hopeless romantic, fighter, whatever… that’s just a protective measure of self defeatism that we tell ourselves so we don’t have to test ourselves. Be a fucking dreamer! BELIEVE! Apply yourself!

You see I’m selfish. I find most people to be boring and tedious. I want you to succeed because it inspires me when you do. There’s an undeniable quality about you when you do.

Climb that mountain, climb it hardcore.

The Self Thread

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Self authenticity is everything and what is the “self”? There must be universal threads in every self for the self to be referred to as the “Self”. The Self must be one part of the ever present holy trinity, however your personal framework of spirituality frames it. Not to be mistaken for religion and dogmatism of gods and devils which is another trap to keep the mind in dualistic division. The number three is part of many spiritual traditions, the trinity at the basis of life and creation. Life as a trinary circuit.

These threads must have something to do with being genuine, with integrity, with honesty, with personal responsibility and accountability. Basically all the qualities we need to cultivate in ourselves to access and truly know the “Self”.

Basically all the qualities that you won’t find on TV in public caricatures of empty importance. Those who have replaced their threads of Self with superficial enslavement, drawn themselves out of the trinity to draw themselves into a false matrix. The quo has already abandoned them, they have nothingness to look forward to when the transient ride ends.

We should really be savvier than that. We should implore ourselves to ask how we are part of the trinary circuit and how we can be most present in it which is to be fully alive (the path of Selfhood, the authentic self).

There is an eternal circuit for those who are honest toward themselves. For those who are ruthlessly compassionate with themselves there is the ecstatic nearly unbearable experience of being. There is light and there is dark, there is happiness and there is sadness, but those who find center find something greater than all sides of the coin.

There is the loop of infinity and creation alive in all living things. There is a matrix of substance and it begins within in the rumbles of self awakening that arouse your soul. It begins in every sliver that tells us we must look within and come to know ourselves. We must not just face ourselves but be willing to realize and experience ourselves so we know ourselves fully. Plant your feet on the Earth and be at one with your heart and the stars above, and you’ll know true luminescence.

The substance that connects us to eternity is within us but we must reconcile the pieces within. We must be courageous to face our egos, our undesirable and ugly sides that we deny, our shadows and repressed vulnerabilities and pains. We must brave the tests that the Self has set for us, in which to find it and let love find us.

This all boils down to the substance of the genuine self. The responsibility of the very being and awareness of the very breath.

There is no drug to deeply look within, there is no image or costume that one can put on to reach it. It’s reached in the sober moments and the quiet stillness of revelation.

This is the test, in your very breath.

Love vs. The Cold

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Barefoot Earthing on chilly nights, tis the way to clear the head.

Men should strive for clear heads ruled by higher centers and warm hearts fearless in all weather. Men should strive to be men… Quotes about strength? I have a million, only because I’ve lived every line.

Nature is receptive, even nurturing of us, we imprint it with positive and negative perceptions.

There’s a lot of animals out there though. The human interpersonal biosphere can be colder than mother nature’s coldest night. So keep your head out of negative games, keep your heart close, and let no one step on the throne of your spirit-soul. You’re better than that. I’m better than that. We all are.

Sometimes it takes a cold night, wind rushing through your spirit, the Earth embracing your soles in love… to remind us of that.

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The message today? Be safe, be warm. Conscious love takes care.

Connection and communication with other sentient beings in the cold void of space is a gift not a guarantee. To be sentient in the touching and interacting with the hearts of others is conscious love. The black is mighty cold out there. Take anyone and anything for granted at your peril. Especially your own heart and self respect.

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The first relationship you have with the opposite sex is with your own opposite side. So when we treat or mistreat each other we show that relationship off in its beauty and dysfunction.

Spiritually in romance there is nothing more sacred than that opposite part of yourself, your “other side”. Your feminine side love if you are a man or masculine side love if you are a woman.

To share it is sacred. It is love for you to share, given to you by your own soul, your other half of divine spark.

The sharing of that love should be celebrated and we should be conscious in the way we treat those we love. This is not often the case in our world. We give our own sacred love away or mistreat the love of others, because we are not conscious of what we’re playing with. What we’re playing with is the stuff of creation.

So today may we all face the mirror. May we face and take responsibility for the ways we do not respect the love in ourselves and in others.

We should strive to be men and women of impeccable hearts and pay it forward in the destiny of love with cherishing all love we are fortunate to know and experience.

Healing Is Strength

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I’m going to start wishing people healing, not safety or wellness and not love and light. I think that in a healed state a lot of love would naturally come to be and flourish, a lot of light would flow, and wellness would prosper. We would not worry about safety because we’d be too eager to step outside our safety zones and explore life.

Wholeness makes a person strong. Trauma and fracturing makes a person weak. All intentionally caused trauma is an attack on the mind/wholeness with the intent of creating weakness.

Why do we live in a world that is full of influences that try to create weakness? Why do we fight healing? Why do we fight our own strength?

Love?

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Love? Love is a battlefield, but not the way you think it is… The real battles begin after we get past the dramas, betrayals and heartbreaks of petty makings and smaller minds.

There’s a machine out there that wants to destroy our souls. Love is when you remember how “God”,”Goddess”, source or whatever have you feels about you. How loved you are, encouraged and embraced. It’s when you spark it within yourself. It’s when you remind someone else. It’s when you feel it on all levels of being and you come alive. And you’re the night, and you’re the day, and you face the annihilating greyness. It’s chased away by a flicker and flight. You don’t have to move mountains because you are the mountain too and the sun that burns above it.

Love says, “I want you remember all that you are, fully. I want you to have a reunion with your dreams.” and the muse whispers so sweetly, “You muse me.”

Love? You can enter into someone’s life loving who they are with emphatic belief, as if from the heart and core of being, or you can enter someone’s life never really seeing them but with the intention to change them to fulfill your needs. One road leads to happiness, the other leads to ruin.

Maybe instead of wanting someone to be everything we deserve, we should wish for someone we love, adore and deeply believe in. So much that you only want them to be more of who they are. We’ll know what it means when someone becomes mythic in our minds but reminds us of how great we are, in our hearts.

It’s not putting the self aside, it’s loving the other as much as you love yourself. There is happiness in helping them reach and be that. When you both do it for each other you become like stars ever radiance. It’s a power when two people want each other to fulfill their own needs, to realize their own being, to reach their own potential. Like ever flowing stars in the ambrosiac night.

Love is alive. We’re just wasting too much of our love on people who aren’t really part of our lives, on faces on tv screens and empty things. Love is there when we befriend the people we want to be and find the hero within each. Love is alive when we find our meaning, and we’re the heroes. We’re the gods and goddesses. We’re the kings and queens. We’re the beggars and vagabonds. Tales sung around a fire, epics inspired. You and I.

Hold me and remind me how mighty I am. The numbing drums have taken their tolls on my sensitivity, my sentient high wire act and I forgot to feel my soles. We’re all just numbers not names in the grey cloud machine. We’re gutted and emptied, strung along to external idols. Let’s stoke a fire in each other. I can look into your eyes and I’ll hold your beauty in my heart. Emphasis will be interchangeable in the fiery kiln of empathy. Our loyalty will be to each other’s very best potential reached in life and across all planes of existence, vibrating beyond colors. Set free to adore. We’ll gaze at each other’s multi dimensional dance with the eye of awe and dizzying enamor. Send a static charge through your skin and we’ll remember how hairs feel when they stand on edge. We’ll be like warriors of a song dipping from dark to light. We’ll all be strength of the spirit, interchangeable yet undeniably unique. We’ll spark it within ourselves, we’ll find it in each other. You and I.

I asked true love, “What’s your favorite position?” and it said to me, “Side by side,”

How will you carry the grand story into the next moment of your life?

Nurture vs. Fester

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In my previous post I talked about adding to each other’s sails vs. tearing each other down. The most pertinent point being that the daggers you create and put in someone else’s back weren’t in existence before you created them, and can be used against you. It’s not karma. It’s being a co-creator who is (or isn’t) aware and responsible for what you put out there.

“Do not do unto others what you wouldn’t want done to you” is the biggest lesson. None of us would be creating any daggers to stab at others, putting others down, tearing at their dreams and creations if we inner-stood this lesson.

I’m sometimes surprised and cynical at speeches that sing positive rhetoric but don’t get this lesson! People can be arrogant, they may think they’re already “there” so don’t need to listen or care. Those are usually the people who are first to cry out when life gives them pitfalls. It’s madness.

One has no standing to speak of love, light, creativity, human potential if they don’t get this lesson. Anything less and we’re gonna be tearing others down, criticizing them behind their backs and creating those daggers. Which is basically festering and harboring denial energy (or un-making-consciousness). The denial you present to the “other” is the denial you place in your heart and soul. It’s not karma. It’s what we create, it’s what we directly put out there. It doesn’t “come around”, what we put out there is already there.

We can talk platitudes out of our asses until the cows come home, it doesn’t matter how sweet the speech. Your inner attitude matters, what you truly want for others (and yourself) matters. It takes a brave soul to become aware of this. It takes a brave one to become aware of their self and begin to mind what they’re putting out there. It can be a difficult wake up, so that soul (whoever they are) deserves our respect and encouragement. It’s not what we’ve done in the past it’s how willing one is to wake up in the present moment that matters.

The greatest show of LOVE is the allowance of something (life, beauty, etc). We can’t encourage, motivate, inspire each other until we’re allowing each other to sail our sails. I mean allowing as if it’s not even our right to allow or disallow each other, which it isn’t.

Creating inspiration and encouragement is proactive. It’s an act of decisiveness in creation. You may not be perfect with it, but hey you’re learning. We’re all co-creators learning how to create. This is where finding inner stillness, sobriety, being mindful of how and what we create comes into play (“Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want done to you” vs. “Treat others like you want to be treated”).

We all have the power to be a positive and creative force in the world.

So find the floor of your gut, find your motivation. Do consider the difference between nurturing allowance and festering denial. For yourself and for others. What you nurture for yourself is also what you create for others and vice versa.

As I wrote in the previous post, in regard to festering of denial or self destructive behavior, “You’re better than that”. Really! You are! You fucking rock! We just gotta find it in ourselves and keep it alive in all ourselves by appreciating it in the self and the other.

You are loved, you are a co-creator, you are beautiful. We’re all amazing and it’s always a good moment to realize that.

We’ll Create Sails Or Sinkholes Together

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I may be enthrallingly enthusiastic and supportive of others’ dreams (if you know me you know that I should be charging life coach fees) but it creates a bright and beautiful glow to do so. The flow we facilitate with each other is the flow we also facilitate for ourselves.

Let’s believe in ourselves and see the best in each other. From deep in our hearts, from our minds high. The wind we put in each other’s sails in the wind we put in our own sails. The energetic waves take on a life of their own. Let’s sail far. Let’s know ourselves intimately within. Let’s sail into the vast expanse. The adventure of existence, breathed in every precious moment.

Why, aren’t you a beautiful bunch of flowers

I don’t like gossiping about others behind their back for the same reason I wouldn’t criticize someone else’s dreams or creations. Because it’s dark and weak to do so. It’s an attempt, born in insecurity and fear, to create a position of dominance over someone else. It creates a dagger when we create a dagger to stab in someone else’s back. That dagger wasn’t there before. It can and probably will be pulled out some day, by someone, and used against us. The thing is we’re already used to attacking ourselves.

It can take a cold splash of water to sober up. We each have the power to stop the patterns in ourselves with the power of awareness. A strong inner stance is the best way to overcome insecurity and evaporate the fears. When it comes to inner standing all one needs to know is ONE THING. ONE THING when facing any self destructive pattern or behavior that tears others down. ONE THING and repeat it often, “I am better than this”

When you realize that, you’ll find all the gold. The golden rule according to common understanding is off. We might all want to be treated in different ways so to assume our ways over others is arrogant and pushy. It is not truly listening.

Author’s note: The irony of togetherness is that it requires a deep sense of individuality in the self to witness and appreciate (rather than depreciate). A deep still center in which to listen from. To be apart from… yet at the same time be part of everything and let everything be part of you. To hear all.

Contrary to popular belief, short sighted greed is not the most creative destination of the self, free will, individuality, all the aspects of SELF that we demonize (or religions demonize, and we follow by engaging in subtractive thinking that loses touch with real higher power, the source in all, the absolute and infinity). The self developed one gains something more. They gain witness to creation. Learning to become aware is the first step to becoming a better co-creator, more able to witness the beauty. By witnessing it we play a part.

The “golden rule” as commonly understood is not a suggestion of observance but of action based upon one’s own preferences without observance of the other person. A lack of awareness leads to fool’s gold.

The true golden rule is “Do not do to others what you wouldn’t want done to you”.

Only in a place of inner standing and awareness can we each fully realize what that means.

It doesn’t mean that others will never be able to do crappy things to you. It means that you will be less likely to become entangled if they try. It means that you’ll be able to face yourself in the mirror more clearly. It means you’ll be able to breathe more freely.

It is only the bright examples that others make that can motivate us to find our own. We need each other to shine, to inspire and even provoke each other, otherwise we forget that we can shine too.

At the end of the day it’s about the beds we make for ourselves. It’s the self relationship and whether or not we can stand ourselves.

So stand tall. Stand strong, within.

To Take Advantage For We Or For Me

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One of the hardest truths for the empathic soul to reconcile is that people take advantage of each other in this world.

Everyone is at their own level of consciousness and strengths, motivated by their own drives, exercising their own free will. The elimination of free will would be a step backward in the complexity of our evolution as conscious beings.

We must learn to accept our freedom and the power with it because in doing so we come to the next step, which is the next question we must all ask ourselves when taking advantage.

Are we taking advantage in a way that advantages others or disadvantages them?

Are you sure? Ask yourself again. Are you really sure? Ask yourself again. Do you want the best for them, whatever it is? How can you know what that is?

Are you thinking with your ego or your empathy?

It’s a responsibility only we ourselves can take.

This question when asked deeply, honestly, soberly and completely is free will’s saving grace.

Can we take advantage while helping and even directly co-enabling the advantage of others?

With this question we can step into an additive, embracing, expansive reality and away from a subtractive, diminishing, schism-creating reality.

You have great dreams, but do you include-with love and good spirit-others in your dreams?

Let love teach you

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Introduction: This was written while wondering why people play control games in love, with love and sex. I’m perplexed by the contradictions out there. The over sexualization out there combined with the dogmatic condemnation of sex.

As a man I’ve found a particularly dangerous expression of this contradiction in women who play the seductive role for the sake of coercing a man into a controlling and severe relationship. It becomes dangerous for a man because those women are often waiting to demonize men, and sexuality, and even anything a man has shared with them, the moment that he doesn’t play along with their controlling game.

That can be scary for a man. I’ve said enough about my experiences though because I don’t kiss and tell, about the good or bad. I’ve generally experienced both extremes with the feminine including what I am going to write about in this essay as I see the true purpose of the feminine beauty. I’ve also experienced its dark side. You might say its controlling and heartless side. Which I consider to be very in line with negative masculinity as both lack heart and aren’t in touch with organic soul. On the male side there are abusive men who use force against women to control them. Sexuality isn’t fully recognized in controlling behaviors, it’s used as a tool to control and take something from others.

It’s sad when people do that because our passions and sexualities are such beautiful things.

The thing about anything in life is we can use it for creativity and joy or for control, but not for both. You can believe otherwise but we all find out the truth, either being on the controlling side or being the person who is subject to someone else’s controlling behavior. We can’t make others love us. Using force or force through coercion/blackmail to make others love us creates the conditions of false love and the illusion that we are loved. It doesn’t give us love.

Love begins in self acceptance and becoming comfortable with others. Love begins in loving ourselves and letting others love us. Real, deep love is met in the condition of receptivity and allowance. It’s not something we can control or put conditions on.

Actually, speaking about the authentic feminine it’s purpose is to teach us about being receptive and receiving love and beauty. Centering ourselves and allowing it, not grabbing it like an overly excited sexual partner. The authentic feminine also teaches us about conditional love in the form of transient and mortal love. This is the lesson to experience, let go and enjoy the moment but realize that it is transient. Even if you find one true monogamous partner one of you is going to die first, so the corporeal love affair ends eventually.

The authentic feminine’s teaching is to accept that life is mortal and can have challenges, but still to remain open to the beauty of it and let the love flow. Women are close to this lesson with their monthly cycles and the labors they experience in childbirth, and the child knows that there is nothing like a mother’s love. The receptivity toward life and love is the authentic archetype of beauty and seduction at work. It is to get us so worked up in joy and the ecstasy of experiencing life, and of creatively engaging in life, that we transcend our fears and in that way transcend the mortal condition (even though we’re most deeply enmeshed and aware of it).

It is the lesson of total unconditional love and acceptance, and that conditional beauty will always find a way to flow. Watch nature, no matter what is done to nature it always finds a way to make a place beautiful. We’re each and all beautiful if we want to accept it. In that acceptance we will find all love, from conditional erotic love to unconditional love. Love and beauty of all kinds are expressions of each other.

The feminine has been denigrated in our world though, and there are many negative programs which are dark distortions of femininity and masculinity that we act out. Sometimes we do so out of the fear and subconscious belief that we have to counter the dark behavior of others with our own. So conditional love for women becomes using physical love and emotion to gain/control a man who makes the most money/has the most stuff. Men play their own game by trying to sequester the the most stuff/be the most domineering toward women who are treated as attainable prizes.

As for the masculine, the false impulse to gain and sequester the most “stuff” (even hurting others in the process) is rooted in the masculine drive and duty of building the most energy and vitality so that a man can impress a woman with his ability to please her. To a more superfluous extent the masculine drive to collect “stuff” is done to peacock for potential partners, but security and the nests we build are most importantly built within. The false masculine impulse to be domineering is rooted in the drive to be self secure and decisive in life.

When it comes to the dance of love; authentic masculine and feminine power, as much as we can build up, eventually comes down to using it to move, motivate, inspire the opposite and your partner. It’s realizing that you are a mighty person or beautiful person but you’re using that in a dance that is about more than you, you can only really get to know yourself in the dance. You use it to help the “other” reach the sky… and through their joyful swells of heart, their palpitations and deep feelings you get to experience that part of yourself too (feminine or masculine).

There’s a reason that chivalrous knights kneel to the maiden, and that men get on one knee to propose. It is a completely sexual and passion drenched reason. It is saying, “I submit myself. Take me, show me, teach me your mysteries and beauty”. It is not giving away the ego and masculine power, it is a conscious bowing and self control of the male ego to recognize the power and beauty of the feminine, and its mysteries.

There is a reason that in our oppressive world women are drugged and laid down during childbirth, and standing birth is still seen as kooky (standing birth mind you can put the man or masculine partner in a position under the woman – her beauty, mystery and reproductive power). I’m not saying that natural birth is for everyone but the archetypal metaphors and symbolism in our world and how we do things says a lot about our world. Every behavior and pattern that we live is an archetype in motion. We are living expressions of deeper energies and intentions.

Authentic love is about realizing that, seeing the beauty in ourselves, accepting it, surrendering in it and playing in it because when it comes down to it love and sex are supposed to be enjoyable.

Even in authentic erotic love there is no chase. There can be playful games and teasing but there is no ultimate beginning and end. It’s a song with peaks and valleys but that is continuous. We like to think in linear set beginnings and ends though. In that context erotic love boils down to chasing and conquering someone (and then wondering why they’ve changed and getting bored with them). For men it’s often about ejaculation. However the creative and spiritual reality that all creation exists is continuous creativity. I’m not saying that no one should ejaculate, I’m saying not to treat it or anything as the ultimate end of the dance (if you’re a man this can mean a “massage” for your partner if you come first). Love, of all kinds, is something we authentically do in joy, from a place of love and joy in ourselves. It’s the dance that eternally awakens in the heart.

Men and women who play these games don’t do so from a place of love. These are played from a place of fear and insecurity-especially when they’re played in reaction to how the opposite sex has hurt us. Usually the people who play them the most have been hurt the most.

How can that be fixed? How can anyone be helped? It’s a good idea to get in touch with the beauty in ourselves though. Including the parts of ourselves that we’re not in touch with, have repressed or demonized (which sexuality often is for people). It begins in self acceptance. In letting the love, beauty and sensuality that fills the world reach you.

It is in our power to make love and sexuality enjoyable. It is in our power to rediscover the joy of being in ourselves just as much as it is to make life miserable.

Sometimes it is a very higher minded thing to keep sexuality in the context of sexuality, romance for the sake of romance, and appreciate it for what it is. Sometimes this allows us to see deeper into ourselves and partners without trying to, without trying to make it something.

This is true if we seek and keep in mind meaningful engagements of our time and energy. Don’t be afraid to explore what that means for you and can mean for you.

These meaningful uses of time and energy can’t be defined by a certain relationship type or contractual agreement. You can’t make someone love you. No amount of sweetness can force someone into a relationship agreement… but we try… Sometimes we succeed. Then we set yourself up for pain because someone will wake up eventually. There will be a break up, or divorce, or someone will cheat on the other person.

Trying to control other human beings with sexuality, to control their sexuality and have exclusive access to their love is going to invite problems because it’s a dark agenda to begin with. I don’t mean devilish as in Earthly, sensual, passionate (things that are demonized in our masculine-out-of-touch-with-the-feminine and autistic world). I mean it as cold, dark and misery inducing. Real devils are robots without feeling, not passionate grounded creatures alive with the bliss of life all around us.

Too often we’re willing to do anything to force or coerce others into relationships and contracts because we’re reacting to the mirage of contracts, to programming in ourselves that tells us that we need a partner. We need to get married. We need children. We can’t be alone… and we devalue ourselves, we peddle ourselves to try to gain certainty from another uncertain human being, we play all sorts of games because we believe we have to to net a partner. It’s all for nothing because we’re not stagnant creatures. I don’t mean that to be cynical. The person passionate for freedom is going to seek that freedom with love, to see through their conditioning out of love, passionately drop the dark games. Once we realize how futile the games are and we stop playing them we’re free to get to know and explore ourselves. We’re free to find and create real connections with other human beings that may become deeper and turn into relationships.

There’s two big intentions we can set in love. That is the intention of freedom which is genuine love, or the intention of arrestment which is inauthentic love.

There are no such things as contracts set in stone (our world is full of contracts that attempt to deny reality, debt based money is an example). We are fluidic, ever changing beings. Sure the basic essence of what we are remains but we go through many stages, cycles and changes in life. We often share agreements with others when we engage in the dance of love with them, and these agreements are usually unspoken. They are in the mutuality we share with others.

True love has no contracts though. It’s loving someone and that they and you will change. It’s creating a space in your heart for them, with open two way doors. It’s realizing that you can share with someone if you choose to and share for the pure sake of sharing.

Playing with the object of your desire means seeing the object of your desire as more than an object. It is seeing and imbuing them with the freedom, love and joy that you love and desire yourself.